They say that being a parent will teach you many of life's important lessons; patience being at the top of the list. But I guess it's an ongoing lesson, because I'm still working at it.
Jon Jon has been a little late to do everything - well all the big stuff. He was late to crawl, late to walk, late to talk, heck the kid was even late coming out of the womb! Clearly he is not in a big hurry to do anything. Some people have told me he seems like an old soul, so maybe if he's done it all before, he's not in a great rush to get it done again. Who knows. And I shouldn't say he's "late" - he's on his own schedule, which according to my pediatrician and 27 different parenting books, is just fine. So why do I worry? Well I'm a Mom - isn't that my job? And I kind of feel like Jon Jon knows it and is playing some cruel joke on me, seeing just how far he can push. It's like, just when I feel like I've reached my breaking point of frustration, or worry, he performs like a circus pony and eases all my fears.
So now that I've been through a few cycles of I-had-nothing-to-worry-about-in-the-first-place lessons, why can't I relax? I wonder if all moms are this way. Maybe because he's my only, and has all my focus, it's easy to sit and obsess over everything little thing he is or isn't doing. I wonder once he has mastered all the basics like running, jumping, talking, putting his cup on the table when he's done with it instead of throwing it on the floor, etc... what will I worry about next? Will he make friends at school? How is he reading? Will he be the last player picked for kickball? And will the girls like him? Ok, I can see that this worrying will never end, it will just get more complicated.
I have gotten a little better. I don't check the "should be doing....will probably be doing...may even possibly be doing" lists in my What To Expect book as much as I used to. I try hard not compare him to the other kids in his playgroup - being slightly grateful that there is no one his exact age, making the comparisons less relevant. I am learning that worry and impatience often doesn't get you anywhere faster, and having some patience can possibly make the journey a little sweeter. Last night Jon Jon was having trouble getting to sleep, so I laid down with him in bed, letting him fall asleep on my chest. It hit me hard that he was only going to be little once, and I should soak it all in while I can. And I said a little thank you to him for teaching me once again, to stop and smell the roses.