Banning the Bottle

As Jon Jon rapidly approaches his first birthday, I have been told by my DR, and read in my Mommy books, that I am supposed to wean him from the bottle and move on to cups.  This sounds great in theory.  No more bottles to clean.  No more drying rack on the counter (this part makes me super happy).  As I think of a future bottle-free Jon Jon, I don't really see this as a big challenge for him.  He's not very fussy about demanding a bottle.  He's not one of those kids who is always toting a bottle where ever he goes.  In fact, at this moment he is down to only 2 bottles a day - always  given by me while snuggled on the couch.  But I am dreading giving up the bottles, and I realize that it is me that needs to be weaned.

It's been shocking to me how much Jon Jon seems like a kid now, and no longer a baby. Every day he is tackling a new motor skill and becoming more and more independent in his play.  He is on the cusp of walking, and has even started to dance (which really looks more like he's humping his stand-n-play-music-thingy).  Where did my baby go?? How can he be this old already!?  It is this thought makes me want to feed him a bottle forever.  Constantly on the move, bottle time is the only time I can get him to sit still in my lap.  We settle on the couch, and I wrap a blanket around us.  He peacefully sucks down his milk and I get to kiss his head and examine the ever changing landscape of his hairline.  As soon as he's done he wants off the couch and out of my arms to play on the floor with his toys.  My blissful 10 minutes of baby is over.  

Over the past year I have had many a grandmother, aunt, family friend, want to feed him his bottle and they tell me that it is heaven on earth.  The happiness in their face as they look lovingly down at little Jon Jon is immeasurable.  I imagine that they are reliving their own days as a young mother and how special those times were.  I was always too happy to hand him over. Yes! Please feed my baby. I need to shower, or pee, or just generally not be holding something.  But now, now I get it.  Now I look forward to bottle time, knowing that it's days are numbered.  As I write this I wonder if I am overly sensitive to it, knowing that our family plan is not to have any more children.  So this really is the end of my bottle days.   Yes there will be more babies available to me through family and friends that I could steal for a few bottle minutes, but it will never  be the same.

My baby Jon Jon is quickly growing into a "big boy" and although it makes me happy and proud to watch his daily accomplishments, it's a bittersweet time.  Every older person I have had random conversations with at places like the grocery store has said to me, take in every moment - they grow so fast.  Boy were they right.  And even though I feel like I have been very conscious of this fact all through the past year, and have tried to freeze moments in my mind, it's still crazy how quickly they change and how quickly the year has gone.  

So I am giving myself one more month to wean myself from the bottle.  I think I deserve it.  And I don't think Jon Jon will mind all that much.  But after that, we're both getting on the wagon.