The ONEder of it All

Jon Jon's first birthday party... It started as a simple plan.  A small gathering of close friends and family.  A Birthday brunch, nestled in between Jon Jon's morning and afternoon nap.  I'll just serve some bagels, fruit salad, cupcakes and call it a day.  Um. Yeah.  When I found myself making molded chocolate top hats for my donut snowmen, I knew I had a gone a little too far.  My simple plan had gone in to the deep end.

The guest list was a mere 70 people, which immediately required finding a location to house us all.  Luckily my country-quaint town has a perfect country-quaint community center known as The Grange.  When I put this on my invites, some people thought we had renamed our house The Grange.  But no, The Grange is our recently renovated community center originally used as a place for farmers to have meetings and family events.  Super cute and the perfect size to host our soiree.  For a hot minute I considered hiring a caterer for the party, but the super mom in me reared it's pony-tailed head and said "No! I will cook it all!! I can do it!!"

As I Googled "first birthday parties" in search of inspiration, I found lots of websites wanting to sell me supplies. Most of these party decorations were theme based - Thomas the Train, Dora, Elmo, and so on.  But at one, Jon Jon hasn't really zoned in on anything to be obsessed over.  And there didn't seem to be any blackberry/gerber puff based themes... so my search continued.  Somewhere I read about the Winter ONEderland idea - and Bingo! A party was born! So right after Christmas I started searching for anything that had a snowman or snowflake on it in sale sections and bargain bins everywhere.  

About 4 days before the party, with the help of my Mom as super-babysitter, I started to cook.  And as much as it was a ton of work, I loved it.  I even felt guilty that I used a box mix for the cupcakes, I wanted so badly to create everything with mommy-love from scratch.  I thought somehow that Jon Jon would appreciate it. Which I know is ridiculous.  But I hoped that he would feel my love pouring through all the food and effort for his party.  At the party I think he certainly had some sense that it was a special day, and that he was getting even more attention than usual.  

The day went by so fast, and reminded me much of my wedding day.  There was a lot of planning and anticipation.  But the event itself went by in an instant, and I felt like I didn't get to fully enjoy it all because I was so busy running around, trying to talk to all of our guests, and yet keep the party on pace.  But if you know me, you know I love to entertain, and throw a party, so I was in my element.  I recently read Tori Spelling's book Mommywood, and she talked about getting in deep planning her own son's first birthday party.  She was so excited when she realized that it was like throwing a mini-wedding sized event, but you get to do it every year! This may seem crazy to some, but I totally got it.  I can see now that I could easily slip down the slippery slope that lands you on MTV's "My Super Sweet 16".  If money were no object, I could definitely be up to throwing a huge bash every year.  But I also know that this is not how to raise a down-to-earth child that appreciates the small pleasures of life.  So I made a small promise to myself to try and keep my party-planning-passion in check, and remember why a person throws a birthday party for their child in the first place.

At the end of the day, it was all the right reasons that made me feel like it was a successful party.  I knew that the family and friends that came to celebrate with us, were there out of love and not obligation, because they truly are the important people in our lives, and especially Jon Jon's.  He was happy as a clam at the party, and didn't cry once - a large accomplishment for a 3 hour stretch in a 12 month olds life.  Even though he was passed around like a little doll, every new person that held him brought a smile to his face.  I know he won't remember his party.  But I will.  And maybe I threw the party just as much for me as for him.  I wanted to celebrate that we both made it through our first year as mother son team with flying colors.  And I'm OK with that.  There will never be another first birthday party and I wanted it to be an event worthy of my amazing little guy.  So Happy First Birthday my sweet little man! (and let's start planning for next year ;)

Banning the Bottle

As Jon Jon rapidly approaches his first birthday, I have been told by my DR, and read in my Mommy books, that I am supposed to wean him from the bottle and move on to cups.  This sounds great in theory.  No more bottles to clean.  No more drying rack on the counter (this part makes me super happy).  As I think of a future bottle-free Jon Jon, I don't really see this as a big challenge for him.  He's not very fussy about demanding a bottle.  He's not one of those kids who is always toting a bottle where ever he goes.  In fact, at this moment he is down to only 2 bottles a day - always  given by me while snuggled on the couch.  But I am dreading giving up the bottles, and I realize that it is me that needs to be weaned.

It's been shocking to me how much Jon Jon seems like a kid now, and no longer a baby. Every day he is tackling a new motor skill and becoming more and more independent in his play.  He is on the cusp of walking, and has even started to dance (which really looks more like he's humping his stand-n-play-music-thingy).  Where did my baby go?? How can he be this old already!?  It is this thought makes me want to feed him a bottle forever.  Constantly on the move, bottle time is the only time I can get him to sit still in my lap.  We settle on the couch, and I wrap a blanket around us.  He peacefully sucks down his milk and I get to kiss his head and examine the ever changing landscape of his hairline.  As soon as he's done he wants off the couch and out of my arms to play on the floor with his toys.  My blissful 10 minutes of baby is over.  

Over the past year I have had many a grandmother, aunt, family friend, want to feed him his bottle and they tell me that it is heaven on earth.  The happiness in their face as they look lovingly down at little Jon Jon is immeasurable.  I imagine that they are reliving their own days as a young mother and how special those times were.  I was always too happy to hand him over. Yes! Please feed my baby. I need to shower, or pee, or just generally not be holding something.  But now, now I get it.  Now I look forward to bottle time, knowing that it's days are numbered.  As I write this I wonder if I am overly sensitive to it, knowing that our family plan is not to have any more children.  So this really is the end of my bottle days.   Yes there will be more babies available to me through family and friends that I could steal for a few bottle minutes, but it will never  be the same.

My baby Jon Jon is quickly growing into a "big boy" and although it makes me happy and proud to watch his daily accomplishments, it's a bittersweet time.  Every older person I have had random conversations with at places like the grocery store has said to me, take in every moment - they grow so fast.  Boy were they right.  And even though I feel like I have been very conscious of this fact all through the past year, and have tried to freeze moments in my mind, it's still crazy how quickly they change and how quickly the year has gone.  

So I am giving myself one more month to wean myself from the bottle.  I think I deserve it.  And I don't think Jon Jon will mind all that much.  But after that, we're both getting on the wagon.

I love my Life

So in case you read my last blog, which I have since taken down, I thought I should probably set the record straight. I love my life.  I realize that the blog may have come across negative and make it seem like I was an unhappy person.  Which is not true.  I was merely trying to express that my first year as a stay-at-home-mom has been a challenging one, and full of change.  I doubt any parent would say that their first year as a parent wasn't challenging.  But would I go back and change any of it? Not a bit.  Let me tell you why I love my life.

I love my son.  I love everything about him.  I love his dimples - especially the ones on his bum.  I love how he says "mmmmm" when he's eating something he really likes.  I love the way he lights up when he sees his daddy.  I love the way his breath is kind of stinky when he wakes up from a nap.  I love how independent he already seems, but that he stills needs me constantly by his side.  I love the way he laughs.  And I really love the first smile he gives me in the morning when I go to get him from his crib.

I love being a home maker.  I love cooking 3 meals a day for my little Jon and making a delicious dinner every night for my big Jon.  I take pride in keeping a clean house.  I like having so much food in the pantry that I could probably whip up any recipe my husband might crave on a sunday afternoon.  It makes me smile when Jon tells me that he is so happy every night that he gets to come home to his family.  And though I make fun of him for it, it does secretly make me feel good when Jon calls our life "wholesome".

I do like living in the country.  I love the privacy.  I love the gardens, and the woods, and knowing that they will be a great place for Jon Jon to play in the future.  I love our house.  Even though you may feel a stiff breeze coming through the dining room in January from the 200 year old windows, it still feels cozy.

I am looking forward to 2010.  I am excited for what 2010 will bring as Jon Jon becomes a toddling toddler.  So bring on the new year! I am ready for you! I love my life and know that the next year will only be better.