Momma's Ark

OK - so I've definitely been feeling pretty unmotivated lately, and haven't updated in awhile. Or perhaps it's because I've been busy building an ark because of all the freakin' rain we've been having! I can not remember the last time it rained so much. I haven't taken Jon Jon for a walk in his stroller in 2 weeks. And rain boots have become a permanent fashion accessory. The only upside is that I have not had to water my gardens since Memorial Day.

It leads me to question, if I did have to build an ark, what would I put in it? And I'm not talking about packing it with pairs to keep the animal kingdom in balance. What are the necessities for my families survival? Well this question is not too far off from reality. Next week Big Jon, Little Jon and I are heading north for 5 days. Childhood friends of Jon have a home on the island of North Haven, Maine. We are super excited to spend some quality time with good people, good food, good drink, and we hope - good weather! But to get there we need to travel a solid 5 hours by car, and then another hour and half by ferry - all with a 5 month old strapped into his car seat. If you are a mom, you can imagine that I have been having nightmares about making this trip and even more so, packing for it, for weeks.

Normally when you travel, and you get that nagging suspicion that you've forgotten something, you say "Well, there are stores. If I forget something, I'll just buy it." But this will not be the case on North Haven. There is one store (I think) and I'm pretty sure they won't have my child's specific Evenflow bottle nipples, or the bath lotion without which he cannot sleep. So everyday I have been making a mental list of all the things I must not forget (yes - writing it down would make more sense - but mommy brain prevents me from being sensible). And then there are my worries of how will I keep my baby happy and amused when not in his own surroundings. Ideally I want to throw the Baby Einstein activity center in the back of the car - but that's crazy, right? Nobody else coming has a child and will most likely look at us like those crazy parents who have to drag all this paraphernalia with them wherever they go. But all I want to do is make sure Jon Jon is happy and not crying and miserable the whole time, and thus making everyone else miserable.

Now if we actually had an ark, I could fit everything I needed in it! Fabulous - no worries. But alas we do not have an ark. What we do have is my mother-in-law's Lexus SUV - the largest car of any family member that we could borrow - and hopefully that will do the trick. We plan to pack it to the brim with essentials for the whole family, clothes, food, cocktails, board games, croquet mallets and possibly, if we can fit it, Baby Einstein himself. A refreshing change will be the lack of un-essentials... cable TV, Wi Fi, cell phone signals, computers, etc. What we will enjoy is the view of the ocean, the smell of steaks on the grill, eagles soaring by, the taste of fresh lobsters and the clink of a wine glass or two. I think I can live with that for a few days, even if we do have to have the tunes of Old MacDonald in the background.

Ramos, Inc.

I am a mom. I am a Stay-At-Home-Mom. I am a homemaker. I run a household and parent a child. I am CFO, CEO, and President of Ramos, Inc!

I'll be the first to admit. I thought being a SAHM (stay at home mom) would be a snap. Take care of the baby. Do some laundry, cook some dinner, and keep the house tidy. I've run a business with 25 employees, hell I've even owned my own business. How hard can being a "housewife" be? Truthfully, it's the hardest job I've ever had.

SAHMers vs Working Moms has been an ongoing mommy point of contention ever since June Cleaver threw in her dish cloth. "It's anti-family to work!" or "It's anti-feminist to stay home!" And there's no right answer to this parenting dilemma. It's a matter of personal choice, of what serves you and your family best. But I do believe that some people who have never tried to be a SAHM - especially men - still think we moms sit around watching soaps all day. I can tell you, at least in my case, I have no time for soaps.

My husband Jon works a lot of hours and has a long commute, so when he walks out the door, he's gone. There's no stopping in to say hi, or running to the grocery store on his lunch break. There are days when the dog and Jon Jon are my only conversation pals. But these are the choices we made to allow us to have one parent at home and one working. See now, there even I said it. I'm not "working". But you know - I am working. I am working very hard and I hate saying "I'm not working." or "I'm doing the mom thing." "I'm staying home." I got up this morning at 5:30 just so I cold enjoy my morning tea on my "work break".

When you are a SAHM, you are always ON. There's no putting the baby down and then popping out for lunch, or doing a little shopping. You're on call all day. And then somehow in that day you try and do laundry, clean the house, pay the bills, water the gardens, balance the checkbook (yeah, right), cook some dinner, go to the store, the post office, everywhere with baby in tow. And if you're lucky, you'll find 10 minutes to sit outside in the sun and enjoy your new copy of Vogue - which so doesn't apply to you anymore, as you are still in your bathrobe at 2pm. I never imagined how challenging it would be. And there are days when I want to hide from it all. But what I hate most, is that it makes me feel like a cliche - of that housewife who is exhausted and ragged by the end of the day.

But most days I completely love it, and feel lucky that I get to do it. I get to see Jon Jon through every emotion that crosses his little face. I get to laugh with him, and make funny faces and let him help me cook, as I put the Bumbo on the kitchen counter. I get to take him for walks. I get to watch him taste green beans for the first time. I'm there for it all, and I don't have to worry about leaving him with anyone else to do all those things for him. Have we had to make changes in our life to live on one salary? Yes. And they are the best changes we've ever made.

I wish there was a different way to say, stay-at-home-mom. When people now ask me what I do, saying "I'm a mom" always makes me feel like I need to explain what I was doing before, and what kind of careers I've had in the past. And maybe that's my own hang-up about stepping away from a traditional career path. But I really don't think that people give SAHMs the credit they deserve. I know that before I had Jon Jon, I certainly didn't. One day when Jon Jon was about 6 weeks old, and big Jon watched him for a whole day, while I took a day to myself, he said to me, "This is hard! I don't know how you get anything done around here!" And you know what I said? "Thank you." And then I think I cried a little, being the hormonal post-partum mess that I was. But that was the best compliment I ever received. And it made me ready, once again, to face a day at Ramos, Inc. with a smile. :)

Stop and Smell the Poppies

Ok - so It's been 8 days since my last blog. But who's counting. Apparently this blogging thing is a little more time consuming than I thought. Or maybe it's just everything else in my life that's time consuming.... ummmm, like a baby! Everyone tells you that a baby is "work". But kind of like that saying about knowing when you've found the partner of your dreams, "You'll just know." You don't really know how much work it's going to be, until you're there. It's work, not sweaty work, or brain surgery work. Anyone can change a diaper, feed a bottle, do some laundry, clean the house, pay the bills, water the gardens, go grocery shopping, make dinner - well I could just go on and on. But can you do it all in one day?? I consider myself to be moderately intelligent and still these simple tasks can sometimes drive me to drink - wine, and more wine. And occasionally a vacation...Last weekend we spent with my parents, my Mother-In-Law, her husband and my Aunt and Uncle. It was a fabulous weekend! Jon Jon came with us, but he spent more time with everyone else than his own parents. But that was the point - for them to see him and for big Jon and I to have a break. But what I saw , that I have noticed in the past but didn't pick up on, was that Jon Jon really learns a lot from spending time with people other than me! Especially other Moms. Jon Jon is my first baby, and we live a bit of an isolated life (not counting FaceBook) - usually it's just the 2 of us out here in rural CT. Not that this is bad thing, I quite enjoy it. But we get into our routines as any parent child team does. But when Jon Jon spends time with grandparents, family and friends, they don't know what routines Jon Jon and I have, so they do what they enjoyed doing with their babies. And without a doubt, Jon Jon loves it, and picks up a new skill or a new way to play.

Last weekend his Great Aunt showd him what tree bark felt like, and what it was like to swing in a hammock. His Grandma taught him to do rasberries back and forth, and blow bubbles on command. And his Nana helped him try to clap for the first time, and touched a piece of bacon to his lips and oooo did he love it! All of these things that I wouldn't have thought to do yet! Do I feel like a bad mom? No. But it reminds me to try new things, and help him to try new skills. And even though there may be a pile of laundry waiting to be folded; there's also poppies blooming in the garden that Jon Jon has never seen before, and books we have yet to read together. So I've vowed that everyday we will do one thing we haven't done before - try a new toy, eat a new food, take a different route on our walk... As he discovers the world around him, so do I and that's coolest new skill I have learned in a long time.