Ponytails and Slippers

Here's what you missed...

2011-03-28T09:04:00.000-04:00

I haven't written since October. And here's why:

Halloween.
Thanksgiving.
Christmas.
Jon Jon's 2nd Birthday. (what?!?!?!?)
Vacation. Ahhhh.
Learned how to make decorated cookies.
Became obsessed with decorated cookies.
Forgot I even had a blog once.
Guilt kicks in on never finishing projects I start... attempt new blog post.

And that's what you missed on Ponytails and Slippers.
(just like a soap opera - you could not watch it for 6 months and not really miss a thing.)

Where There's an App There's a Way

2010-10-07T14:57:00.000-04:00

So, if you know me, you know I just recently got my first iPhone. I was somewhat familiar with it's capabilities from family and friends who have already been using one, but seriously - this thing is freakin' amazing! I am declaring it the new Mother's Helper. Here's how my iPhone gets me through the day...

6:30am Alarm goes off. I think about getting out of bed to sneak in a work out before Jon Jon wakes up. I hit snooze.

7:15 Jon Jon and I snuggle on the couch watching Chuggington. I slyly check my emails, the weather, and some news headlines because actually watching Chuggington is a little hard to take.

7:25 Jon Jon realizes I'm looking at my phone and he starts pointing at it yelling "Meow! Meow! Meow!" Jon Jon wants to play with the kitty, a.k.a. the Talking Tom cat app. So we talk to the kitty for about 15 minutes and make him purr, or Jon Jon's favorite, make him fart. But the cool thing about this app is that Tom the cat repeats everything you say, so Jon Jon has fun saying all his favorite words to Tom and giggles when he says them back.

8:30 Jon Jon is still in his PJ's with his super cute new slippers on, so I snap a pic and quickly email it out to Daddy at work, and Grandma and Grandpa.

9:00 I make a shopping list in the notes section of my phone. I'm great at making shopping lists, but awful about remembering to take them with me to the store. But I am very good at taking my phone everywhere I go - so, voila! I even get super OCD at the store by erasing each thing as I put it in my cart, because I'm also good at forgetting things, even when they are written down in front of me.

11:00 While at Walmart I use my RedLaser app to scan the barcode of some screen protectors I want to buy, only to find out I can buy it for half the price online! Moms love to save money! (More money for facials!)

12:30 I use the My Fitness Pal app to record my calorie intake so far for the day. I have 9 more pounds to lose to reach my goal weight (note - this is not baby weight - this is married weight! Damn you fabulous husband and your need to eat dinner every night! :) And can I also mention that it is near impossible to only eat 1200 calories a day!!! Geez!!!!!! But this app is seriously easy to use, and it has over 400,000 foods preloaded with calorie and nutritional value making it a snap.

1:30 Jon Jon is napping so I decide to park it on the couch for a little bit and play some Words With Friends, an interactive scrabble game. I've never been very good at Scrabble, but I have found this to be highly addictive. And you do learn some new vocabulary... who knew that "qi" was an actual word?! Maybe one day I learn what it means.

Did I mention that I have used my Facebook app at least 10 times by now?

5:00 Time to start thinking about what to make for dinner as I stare at a package of chicken breast and wonder how to make it fabulous. Enter the Epicurious app. Using the "low calorie" filter, I have my answer: Farfalle w/ Chicken, tomatoes, caramelized onions and goat cheese. MMMMM.

6:00 Dinner is cooking and Jon Jon, Jon and I have a dance party using my Pandora app. I highly recommend making an "I've Got a Feeling" channel. Woop woop!

9:00 Jon Jon is fast asleep and Jon and I relaxing in front of the TV, watching some old movie that has an actress about which I keep saying "What is she from??!!!" Not being able to take the guessing game any more, you guessed it, I use my IMDB app to look up the movie and the actress and satisfy my curiosity. Yay! I can sleep now.

9:30 Play a little more Words With Friends and then decide to call it a day.

Oh, wait. Must check Facebook one more time...

And to think I've only had my iPhone for 2 weeks. How did I ever live without it?

Relax. It's only parenting.

2010-10-01T14:24:00.000-04:00

They say that being a parent will teach you many of life's important lessons; patience being at the top of the list. But I guess it's an ongoing lesson, because I'm still working at it.

Jon Jon has been a little late to do everything - well all the big stuff. He was late to crawl, late to walk, late to talk, heck the kid was even late coming out of the womb! Clearly he is not in a big hurry to do anything. Some people have told me he seems like an old soul, so maybe if he's done it all before, he's not in a great rush to get it done again. Who knows. And I shouldn't say he's "late" - he's on his own schedule, which according to my pediatrician and 27 different parenting books, is just fine. So why do I worry? Well I'm a Mom - isn't that my job? And I kind of feel like Jon Jon knows it and is playing some cruel joke on me, seeing just how far he can push. It's like, just when I feel like I've reached my breaking point of frustration, or worry, he performs like a circus pony and eases all my fears.

So now that I've been through a few cycles of I-had-nothing-to-worry-about-in-the-first-place lessons, why can't I relax? I wonder if all moms are this way. Maybe because he's my only, and has all my focus, it's easy to sit and obsess over everything little thing he is or isn't doing. I wonder once he has mastered all the basics like running, jumping, talking, putting his cup on the table when he's done with it instead of throwing it on the floor, etc... what will I worry about next? Will he make friends at school? How is he reading? Will he be the last player picked for kickball? And will the girls like him? Ok, I can see that this worrying will never end, it will just get more complicated.

I have gotten a little better. I don't check the "should be doing....will probably be doing...may even possibly be doing" lists in my What To Expect book as much as I used to. I try hard not compare him to the other kids in his playgroup - being slightly grateful that there is no one his exact age, making the comparisons less relevant. I am learning that worry and impatience often doesn't get you anywhere faster, and having some patience can possibly make the journey a little sweeter. Last night Jon Jon was having trouble getting to sleep, so I laid down with him in bed, letting him fall asleep on my chest. It hit me hard that he was only going to be little once, and I should soak it all in while I can. And I said a little thank you to him for teaching me once again, to stop and smell the roses.

Clean Freak

2010-08-17T18:43:00.000-04:00

Back in March I wrote about trying to find a balance between being a full-time-all-consumed-mom and still having fun as a woman, and doing girly things like putting on heels and drinking martinis. Lately I've been trying to find a little more balance between being a housekeeper, *ahem* I mean housewife and a mom. When I stopped working to be a full-time mom, I knew that there would be a shift in household responsibilities between Jon and myself. I knew that more of the everyday chores of keeping a house together would fall on my shoulders. I expected it and was fine with it.

As a housewife (which lately has become an ugly word) I consider it as part of my "job" to do the grocery shopping, laundry, cleaning and so on. Yeah, yeah I know this is old fashioned - but it is what it is. And this is often an ongoing discussion between SAHMs (stay-at-home-moms) Does your husband help with household responsibilities or do you do it all? Some say that everything is still 50/50 - after all, taking care of children during the day is a full-time job. Others, like me, say that they consider it as more of their responsibility now. Honestly, I consider it one of the perks of being a SAHM. Not that I really enjoy cleaning all that much, but it does give us more free time in the evenings and weekends to spend leisure time as a family.

But how clean is my house? Um yeah, that's the part I can't seem to balance. There's also an ongoing discussion among moms about keeping a clean house vs. spending time with your kids. Your kids will only be young once, and who cares about a little dirt - you'll have lots of time to have a clean house later on. And I love this concept. In theory. Because, honestly having a messy house makes me a little batty.

I was certainly not a neat freak growing up. I can remember the word "pigsty" used more than once by my mother. So as someone who did not grow up with any OCD skills, I sometimes have trouble keeping everything in its place. But having a clutter free environment makes me feel better, so I do my best to spend time each day cultivating my OCDness. But honestly, it's kind of exhausting. Especially when you have a tasmanian devil, a.k.a. toddler, living with you. I voiced this to Jon one night. And when I say "voiced", I mean broke down crying that I was so exhausted from trying to keep the house clean all the time and spending time with Jon Jon, and saving energy for him, that I was going to lose my mind, if I did still in fact have it at all. Jon asked me a good question: "Who are you cleaning the house for? I don't care if the laundry piles up or if there are dishes in the sink. You should relax about it and try to enjoy your time more with Jon Jon." Damn you and your good questions.

But he was right. And so I made myself a promise to do fun stuff everyday with Jon Jon and take advantage of our time together. We went to the playground more and visited museums. We spent more time outside just playing together in the yard. It was great! Until last week when I looked around the house and saw an extra amount of cobwebs lurking in corners, and couldn't find anything in the pantry because it was so disorganized and disastrous. But instead of laughing it off as a part of motherhood, I had a complete meltdown, saying that we were living like pigs and I wanted to sell the house and move back to the city, where apparently cobwebs do not exist. And then I started cleaning the pantry while still in my slippers and nightgown.

So yeah, balance. I also just finished reading Eat Pray Love which is all about finding balance. But that lady gets to travel the world looking for balance, without husband, house, or child; so forgive me if I don't totally relate. Needless to say, I'm still working it out. And I'm pretty sure that I won't get any pity or empathy from working moms; even less from single moms. And I wouldn't ask for it either. You girls are whole other category of Supermom. But when you have left your "career" you try to find other places to feel pride and accomplishment. Keeping a spotless house was where I went, and it wasn't fun to feel like I was doing a crap job sometimes.

So wrap it up, Hillary. Do you have a moral here? Not sure that I do. I have taken some pressure off myself to be the "perfect" housewife. The image I used to have of being June Cleaver, or maybe now Betty Draper, is fading. Apparently it is not so easy to keep a house, take care of a child, and still have dinner on the table at night, all while wearing pearls. Maybe I should scrap the rest and wear my pearls everyday. Thats sounds a whole hell of a lot easier.

The Not So Friendly Skies

2010-07-29T19:37:00.002-04:00

"Excuse me. Is there anything you can do about him?"

"If I knew, don't you think I'd be doing it??"

"Did you bring anything to help him sleep?"

"You know, I forgot my Ambien at home."

"Well, is he going to scream like that for the next 7 hours?"

"I don't know. Are you going to be ugly for the next 7 hours? Because I'm pretty sure there's nothing we can do about that either."

In my head, this is how the conversation went when the lady sitting behind me tapped me on the shoulder, 45 minutes into our 8 hour flight coming back from France. In actuality, she said all those same things, and I sat stunned and only managed to mumble an "I'm sorry," as Jon Jon squirmed and screamed in my lap. The good news, is that soon after this, Jon Jon took a nap and proceeded to be as well behaved as you could ever expect an 18 month-old to be on such a long flight. 3 weeks prior on our flight over to France, I can't same the same thing.

We had been anticipating this vacation for over a year. It was my parents 40th wedding anniversary and they had decided to go big, and rent an amazing castle in France and invite friends and family to join them in the experience. I was excited, of course, to be able to go on this trip, especially for all 3 weeks. But anytime someone brought up our upcoming trip, all I could say was, "I hope I survive the flight." Because of work, Jon was only able to join us for 9 days of the trip, so we decided to take our babysitter, Katie, to help with Jon Jon. As the flight took-off from Boston, Jon Jon was super excited and watched out the window as the ground disappeared. But he soon began to get squirmy, and I busted out the DVD player.

He let me put his little earphones on, and sat quietly for about 1/2 an hour. This isn't so bad, I thought. Those were the only peaceful 30 minutes of the flight. I tried everything to help Jon Jon go to sleep. We put his pajamas on, read his favorite nighttime books, and gave him his favorite stuffed animal, Panda, and his blankie to snuggle. But he was just too excited to settle down. Then, he puked. Fear number one, check. Katie and I tried to strip him of his clothes without getting puke on ourselves. We wiped him down with baby wipes, and sadly had to wrap his PJ's, blankie and panda in a plastic bag. So much for the bedtime routine.

Not too long after, Jon Jon pooped. Fear number two, check. And not a neat little poop, but a nice and messy one. Have you ever seen what they call a "changing table" on an airplane? Airplane bathrooms are barely big enough for an adult to use, but they had this fold down plastic shelf that you're supposed to put your baby on. Yeah, right. So there's Katie and I both crammed into the bathroom with Jon Jon standing on the "changing table", banging his head on the slanted ceiling, as we did our best to clean up the mess. I joked with Katie that we would be forever bonded as people are when they've been through a traumatic experience together.

I tried every trick in my suitcase to keep him happy - new toys, stickers, books, more movies - but Jon Jon was now too overtired to even function. As we got close to Madrid - our layover point - it was about 2 am EST and Jon Jon still had not slept. He began crying and screaming and didn't stop until we got off the plane. I am sure there were people plotting our death, and shooting us dirty looks, but I was beyond caring and just trying to get through it. I remembered the advice a friend gave about flying with small children, she wisely told me, you just have to know that it's going to be awful, but it will end eventually, and you will all survive.

When we landed in Madrid, and I placed a sweaty and delirious Jon Jon into his stroller, he was asleep in about 5 seconds. At that point I had pretty much decided that I would call Jon at home and tell him to send the rest of our belongings to France, as there was no way in hell I was getting back on a plane and we would now make France our permanent residence.

Our vacation was amazing, stupendous, fantabulous, and then some. And as our flight home grew closer, I worked hard to not dwell on the idea that it was possible for things to be even worse. So when that "lady" tapped me on the shoulder at the start of our journey home, I knew it would be a rough ride. But miraculously it wasn't. In fact the only other dirty look we received was when Jon Jon was laughing too loud. Seriously people, get over it.

Am I eager to jump on a plane anytime soon? No. Am I the only mom to ever have a horrible experience with a toddler on a plane. NO! But I do feel a little more confident as a mom who can possibly "handle it." Terrible twos? Temper tantrums? Bring it on. I've been through an international boot camp and am ready for you.

Peas, Tank you & 'Cuse Me

2010-06-15T13:30:00.000-04:00

Now that Jon Jon is the ripe old age of 17 months, and practically running, there's been a definite shift in our activities as of late. Finally having a child who is confident on their 2 feet has opened up a whole new world of adventures. It has also led us to begin the discovery of toddler etiquette training. I've always been vaguely aware of parental sounds bites such as, "sharing is caring", "say thank you to the nice lady", "say you're sorry to the little boy who's face you just threw sand in." But I never really payed attention to these things until just recently.

Almost all of the children Jon Jon regularly plays with are a bit older than him, so we've had a nice glimpse of the future through our friends. I watch as other Moms reenforce please and thank yous, excuse me, sorry, and he had it first so you need to give it back and get your own toy. Jon Jon has always been the baby, and no one ever really expected him to understand how to share, and neither did he really get upset if someone took his toy. And at the playground, Jon Jon toddles around going where ever he pleases, with no regard to what may, or may not, be his turn on the slide, etc. I hear other moms say to their children, "Watch out for the baby!" And I have started to hear myself say things like, "We go up the stairs and down the slide." It sort of stops me in my track. I have a child that is old enough to understand this stuff? Yep, I guess I do.

The other day at the playground, I heard one mom talking to another about the fact that she was trying not to hover so much over her child while he played, to boost his confidence. Ooo, that was a new concept to me. Am I hovering? But if I don't, he'll fall down the stairs! But soon... I'll have to let him fall down and pick himself back up. Right? Isn't that part of the learning process.

All of this etiquette awareness has really made me aware of the fact that I am now starting to truly shape Jon Jon as a person. Together, we mastered the basic survival skills of feeding, crawling, and then walking. Now it's all about, communication, understanding, emotions, and independence. He needs me in so many new ways, it's strange sometimes. Almost makes me feel like even more of a parent than I did in his first year. I am also more aware of how much he is watching me, taking in and even copying my behaviors. In many ways it has made me a better person. I find myself saying please and thank you more, being nicer to grocery store cashiers, and just all around trying to exhibit kinder behavior.

So Thank You Jon Jon, yet again you have taught me some good life lessons.

You Know You're a Mom When...

2010-04-13T14:52:00.000-04:00

Ever have one of those moments where you catch yourself off guard and think, "Geez, I'm such a mom!" And maybe when you have this realization, you hate it, love it, or a combination of both. Or maybe you just shake your head and think, "When did this happen to me???!" Here are some of my "Mom" moments... maybe you can relate.

1. You always have snacks.

2. Your child starts to spit up and you instinctively try to catch it with your bare hand.

3. Running out of laundry detergent is one of your biggest fears in life.

4. When in a parking lot with a "shopping with child" spot, you look to see if the car parked there has a car seat in the back.

5. You start having a "place for everything" in your house and get mad when your husband does not put things back in their place.

6. You read ingredients labels thoroughly.

7. As cars go whizzing by your house, you wonder who you could bribe with homemade cookies to get one of those Slow Children At Play signs... maybe even one of those weird little plastic men holding a caution flag.

8. You look at your living room and see plastic toys. Everywhere. And they are all making noise at once.

9. Going out to dinner with your husband is now called "Date Night," and going out with friends is "Girls Night Out."

10. All of your outlets have plastic covers that even you can't get off.

11. When arriving at a restaurant you start yelling "CHICKEN FINGER KIDS MEAL" to any waitress who will listen.

12. Your expensive purses are now works of art you display on doorknobs as relics of the past.

13. You don't give dirty looks to the woman who's kid is screaming on an airplane.

14. You now carry antibacterial wipes everywhere you go.

15. Mickey Mouse is not so annoying anymore.

16. You find yourself signing the Handy Manny theme song... when you are alone.

17. Someone says: "Well, you're a mom...." And you don't turn around to see who they're talking to.

18. You have trouble having a focused conversation with someone because you have a small but cute distraction pulling constantly at your pant legs.

19. Having your teeth cleaned seems like a nice idea when you remember that you can lay down at your appointment.

20. You know without question that you would do anything and everything for your child.

Balancing Act

2010-03-23T14:03:00.001-04:00

So I've been a super busy mom lately. Of course if you're a mom and not busy, you're probably doing it wrong (or incredibly right). I went away the past 2 weekends for some fun and R&R of two totally different kinds. First I flew down to D.C. for my sister-in-law's bachelorette party; 3 fun filled nights of pure girl time. We ate, we drank, we shopped, we spa'd, we lounged around watching movies... did I mention we drank? ... we did everything that I no longer do much of being a stay-at-home-mom living in rural Connecticut.

It was a great group of girls, of which only a few were moms. And I realized that it had been awhile since I spent much time with women who were not also mothers. My mom group is great, don't get me wrong, and we definitely get out for much needed drinks or dinner on a regular occasion. But the conversation does often turn to the subject of our kids. But when you are hanging out with a group of women that the majority do not have kids, the conversation never really turns to children. It's probably a good thing I didn't think about this before we went, I would have been nervous that I would have nothing to add to the conversation. But miraculously I managed to have thoughts and opinions that didn't revolve around my 14 month old son.

Being a mom, especially a stay-at-home-mom, and really especially a mom who blogs about being a mom, can make you feel like you have no other parts of yourself that don't involve being a mom. But there were so many other great topics of conversation! By the end of the weekend, our most memorable conversations revolved around SNL skits, my SIL's neighbor named Putter Johnson, and the Twilight series - not the most intellectual of topics, but wow did we laugh.

Then this past weekend, big Jon, little Jon and I went to visit his Mom and Step-father at their house in New Hampshire. We always have a great time when visiting NH, and this weekend was no different. Food, drink and fun are always flowing, and we have nothing we need to worry about other than relaxing and enjoying the company. I loved being able to spend so much time with my little Jon Jon without all the other responsibilities of every day life. No one expected me to cook, or clean, and do anything other than hang out. And so I did. I got to play blocks, and cars, and practice walking and practice climbing stairs with my little man. I gave him my undivided attention. It was such a treat to be able to focus just on being a mom and nothing else. Quite a difference from my previous weekend.

Having these 2 mini-vacations so close together, reminded me of how important it is to find balance as a mom. Do I want to spend every weekend getting dressed up and heading out on all night martini-fests? No. But I also don't want to spend every waking moment thinking about nothing other than my son. I guess the key is how to find balance in your everyday life. Mom's are always giving of themselves to their family, taking time for yourself so often goes on the back burner. Obviously this is not a new concept to anyone - there's probably an article in every Parenting magazine on finding balance in your life. But lately I've been really getting it. Am I finding balance on an everyday basis? No. But I'm aiming for it, and I think it's great goal for any mom to have.

My One and Only

2010-03-04T20:04:00.000-05:00

There are inevitable moments in life. As soon as you finish your trek down the aisle, people will ask, "When are you going to have a baby?!" And as soon as you finally have one, they ask, "When are you going to have another??!" Geez!! I just popped one out for you as soon as I could! Can I have a break please to do a few sit-ups and let my boobs deflate?

But what if your answer to this second question is, "Never." Well, that's me.

When Jon and I got married we had already had the "what kind of family do we want" talk. (I highly recommend doing this before you recite your vows, just makes for a smoother marriage.) We were surprisingly on the same page, we both only wanted one child. I am an only child. So only having one child myself, does not seem strange to me. I had a very happy childhood. Love my parents, always have, and loved growing up in our tight knit family. I have asked my mother on many an occasion why they chose to only have one child. Her response has unwaveringly been, "We wanted a blond, blue-eyed girl named Hillary; and there you were. Our family was complete." Can't really argue with that.

Sure I grew up hearing all the only child stereotypes: spoiled, self-centered, and bossy. I don't believe I grew up spoiled in a materialistic way, but I do believe I was spoiled in love and attention. I was the only child of very doting parents. Oh the tragedy! I never really yearned for siblings, I was used to the status quo. I believe being an only child gave me self-confidence, and showed me how to be self-reliant. It really irks me when I tell people I am an only child and they immediately give me a pitying look and say how sad I must have been growing up. Why?! I had no one to fight with, and had all my parents love and attention for myself. Poor, poor me. The other reaction I often get it, wow - you're so normal! I had a very funny conversation with someone recently where we joked that I was a "highly functioning" only child.

Now I fully admit that when hanging out with other parents of young, only-children, I will ask, "Are planning on having more?" And when their answers are that they are not sure, I will often offer up the info that I myself am an only child. This always brings a new excitement to the conversation. They seem to see me in a new light, sizing me up for normalcy, and character flaws. They will ask about my childhood and my views on my lack of siblings. I sort of become this spokesperson for only children. I'd like to think I can put them at ease a little, and make it OK for them to chose to have a small family and be happy with it.

As to why I only want one child? Well, there are many reasons... I enjoyed it myself, so why not? I don't ever want to be pregnant again, or do that annoying thing called labor. (Moms of large families everywhere are at this point calling me selfish for sure!) I want to be able to give everything I can, emotionally, and financially to my one and only. I want to be able to do things that I feel might logistically be impossible with a large family. But above all... it just feels right. As much as many people feel passionate about their wants for a large family, I feel passionate about my wants for my small one.

I think it's unfortunate that people who choose to have one child are often chastised. I have also heard it said that having only one child does not qualify you as a parent, because you never have to deal with, "Mine!!!" or "Stop touching me!!!!" Um, isn't that a perk? I still feel like a full fledged parent, maybe even one who hangs on to a little more of her sanity. If you are an only child or are thinking of only having one child, but don't enjoy the stigma, here's some info for your arsenal: guess who else was an only child?? Robin Williams, Rudy Giuliani, Leonardo da Vinci, Elvis Presley, Mahatma Gandhi, Barbra Streisand, John Lennon, Robert De Niro, Frank Sinatra... the list goes on and on. Now, that's a group I don't mind being a part of.

Mommy Miracles

2010-02-22T08:53:00.000-05:00

There are certain events in Motherhood that make you believe miracles can happen.

1. You, your child, and your house are all clean on the same day.

2. You leave the house on time.

3. While reading What to Expect books, your child has a skill that falls in to the "may even be able to" category.

4. You actually find a play group where the other mothers don't annoy the crap out of you.

5. Your child plays quietly by themselves for 30 straight minutes.

6. You complete the Mommy Triathlon of grocery store, bank, and post office in the same day, without crying.

7. Your husband gets all the poopy diapers in your weekend diaper rotation.

8. Your babysitter is available when you call her at 5pm on a desperate Saturday night.

9. The pediatricians office is running on time.

10. Your child eats something green.

11. Silence.

12. The baby weight is gone.

13. Your birth plan goes off without a hitch. (um, yeah right)

14. Your baby latches on like a pro.

15. Girl's Night Out.

16. Spontaneous sex.

17. Triple Paste is buy one get one free.

18. You say, "Hey look at that new tooth! I had no idea it was coming!"

19. While out for the day, your child's diaper leaks and you actually have an emergency outfit, and that outfit is not 2 sizes too small.

20. Nap time.

The beauty of motherhood though, is that even if none of these events ever happen, you still believe in miracles every time you look at your little angel.

The Mommy Club

2010-02-18T10:03:00.000-05:00

Knock, knock! Who's there? A Mom. Oh! Well why didn't you say so? Come in! Show me pictures of your kid, tell me about your baby weight, spill your guts about your breast feeding catastrophes and your labor pains. Tell me about your lack of sex life, how you haven't showered in 3 days, and pretended to have a stomach ache but instead sat on your bathroom floor, reading UsWeekly and eating Doritos. Welcome to the club!

Before I had my son, I knew there was a difference between moms and non-moms. Kind of like Bridget Jones describing "singletons" vs. "smug marrieds", they just don't speak the same language. But before I became a mom, I didn't fully know what that meant. To be a fly on the wall, in a rooms full or moms, would truthfully probably only be interesting to other moms, but wow would you hear full disclosure! I don't know what it is, but moms really love to spill their guts to each other. It's like all boundaries fall away. Yesterday I had a facial. (This fact alone is probably worth its' own blog - so amazing.) But as the aesthetician and I began chatting, within 15 minutes I knew the ages and names of all her kids, how her husband had just had a vasectomy, and how she needed and operation to fix her bladder control issues. And believe me, she just as quickly learned plenty about me too. It made me wonder, if I was not a mom, what would this lady and I be talking about?

I have long marveled about men's abilities to bond over the topic of sports. You put a bunch of guys who don't know each other in a room who seemingly have nothing in common, but sooner than later the conversation will turn to sports, and the men quickly seem like old pals. I always said that women didn't have a topic that could be such a common denominator. But boy, was I wrong. I just didn't know about it yet!

So after my confessional/facial yesterday, it got me wondering why are women are so quick to tell all? Is it because we all want to swap "war" stories of the labor room? Is it because our children are so all consuming that we have nothing else to talk about? Or maybe it's because after you have a child, it's almost as if your body has been "repurposed" and nothing is left sacred. As the parent of a one year old, and especially as a stay-at-home mom, Jon Jon has pretty much taken over my life. So if you want to talk about my current events, you're going to get an earful about sleep training, food throwing, and teething. That's just the way it is. Sure, I can talk about other stuff. But if you want to hear passion in my voice, it's just gonna have to be about child raising.

Mom's just get other moms. You know what they're going through. It also reminds me of how it is said that once people have been through a traumatic experience together, they are bonded for life. Being a parent can definitely be traumatic at times! So, maybe that's where the mommy bonding comes from. All I know, is that I'm glad to be a part of the club and I'll gladly tell my 20-hour-labor story to anyone who wants to listen.... and then I will gladly listen to yours.

Mommy Arsenal

2010-02-03T21:25:00.000-05:00

In order to survive life as a busy mom, and still look halfway decent, you need to have some quality swag in your arsenal. Here are some of my favorites...

Dry Shampoo A shower can sometimes be hard to come by, especially as a new mom, and I was no different from any other mom in this fact. I am also not blessed with the type of hair that can do a few days in between shampoos, looking better each day. Even if I've managed to get in the hsower, my hair looks flat and greasy by the end of the day. I had heard rumors about the existence of dry shampoo in the past. Then I really heard about it during a brief viewing of I'm a Celebrity Get me Out of Here when Heidi Montag freaked out because another cast member had stolen her dry shampoo, leaving her an oily mess. Then over a recent glass of wine, a friend told me that she uses it. So off to Sephora I went to try it out. The result - fabulous! My brand of choice, Oscar Blondi . It actually works great at taking away any greasiness and keeps you looking impossibly fresh for another 12 hours.

Totally Tubular I don't tend to wear a lot of make-up on a daily basis - but I am not one of those wash and go people. I still have a minimum number of products that have to grace my face to leave the house, loose powder, blush and mascara. My latest obsession is Trish McEvoy's lash curling mascara. All of Trish McEvoy's mascaras utilize new tubes technology - which if you've never heard of it means - it DOES NOT SMUDGE. This stuff doesn't budge until you decide to remove it with warm water - it doesn't even require soap! When you do take it off, you give your lashes a gentle tug and the mascara pulls off in these weird little tubes that kind of look like tiny black whiskers. But if you are feeling tired or lazy and don't bother to wash your face before you go to bed, you won't wake up with raccoon eyes, or stained sheets. You just wake up with mascara still on your lashes! If you don't feel like shelling out $28, L'Oreal also makes a tube mascara that works very nicely and will only cost you about $11.

Vaseline I have a serious love of Vaseline . I use it for everything! I love it so much in fact that last year for Christmas my mother-in-law gave my a jar of Vaseline the size of a cereal box. I keep it in my car, in the bathroom, and by my bed. You can rub it into your heels and cuticles, and glob it on your lips before you go to sleep. I'll even put it on instead of my under eye cream in a pinch. I have even heard makeup artists say putting a little on your cheekbones or on your eyelids can give you a lovely glow.

Your Kid If all else fails, and you're having a bad everything day, dress your kid extra cute and use them as a shield. I know that if I put Jon Jon in a Gap ad worthy outfit, no one is probably going to notice me anyway. And if someone unexpectedly grabs a camera, throw on some big sunglasses, a little Vaseline on your lips, and hold your child in front of you. Picture perfect!

The ONEder of it All

2010-01-25T09:59:00.011-05:00

Jon Jon's first birthday party... It started as a simple plan. A small gathering of close friends and family. A Birthday brunch, nestled in between Jon Jon's morning and afternoon nap. I'll just serve some bagels, fruit salad, cupcakes and call it a day. Um. Yeah. When I found myself making molded chocolate top hats for my donut snowmen, I knew I had a gone a little too far. My simple plan had gone in to the deep end.

The guest list was a mere 70 people, which immediately required finding a location to house us all. Luckily my country-quaint town has a perfect country-quaint community center known as The Grange. When I put this on my invites, some people thought we had renamed our house The Grange. But no, The Grange is our recently renovated community center originally used as a place for farmers to have meetings and family events. Super cute and the perfect size to host our soiree. For a hot minute I considered hiring a caterer for the party, but the super mom in me reared it's pony-tailed head and said "No! I will cook it all!! I can do it!!"

As I Googled "first birthday parties" in search of inspiration, I found lots of websites wanting to sell me supplies. Most of these party decorations were theme based - Thomas the Train, Dora, Elmo, and so on. But at one, Jon Jon hasn't really zoned in on anything to be obsessed over. And there didn't seem to be any blackberry/gerber puff based themes... so my search continued. Somewhere I read about the Winter ONEderland idea - and Bingo! A party was born! So right after Christmas I started searching for anything that had a snowman or snowflake on it in sale sections and bargain bins everywhere.

About 4 days before the party, with the help of my Mom as super-babysitter, I started to cook. And as much as it was a ton of work, I loved it. I even felt guilty that I used a box mix for the cupcakes, I wanted so badly to create everything with mommy-love from scratch. I thought somehow that Jon Jon would appreciate it. Which I know is ridiculous. But I hoped that he would feel my love pouring through all the food and effort for his party. At the party I think he certainly had some sense that it was a special day, and that he was getting even more attention than usual.

The day went by so fast, and reminded me much of my wedding day. There was a lot of planning and anticipation. But the event itself went by in an instant, and I felt like I didn't get to fully enjoy it all because I was so busy running around, trying to talk to all of our guests, and yet keep the party on pace. But if you know me, you know I love to entertain, and throw a party, so I was in my element. I recently read Tori Spelling's book Mommywood, and she talked about getting in deep planning her own son's first birthday party. She was so excited when she realized that it was like throwing a mini-wedding sized event, but you get to do it every year! This may seem crazy to some, but I totally got it. I can see now that I could easily slip down the slippery slope that lands you on MTV's "My Super Sweet 16". If money were no object, I could definitely be up to throwing a huge bash every year. But I also know that this is not how to raise a down-to-earth child that appreciates the small pleasures of life. So I made a small promise to myself to try and keep my party-planning-passion in check, and remember why a person throws a birthday party for their child in the first place.

At the end of the day, it was all the right reasons that made me feel like it was a successful party. I knew that the family and friends that came to celebrate with us, were there out of love and not obligation, because they truly are the important people in our lives, and especially Jon Jon's. He was happy as a clam at the party, and didn't cry once - a large accomplishment for a 3 hour stretch in a 12 month olds life. Even though he was passed around like a little doll, every new person that held him brought a smile to his face. I know he won't remember his party. But I will. And maybe I threw the party just as much for me as for him. I wanted to celebrate that we both made it through our first year as mother son team with flying colors. And I'm OK with that. There will never be another first birthday party and I wanted it to be an event worthy of my amazing little guy. So Happy First Birthday my sweet little man! (and let's start planning for next year ;)

Banning the Bottle

2010-01-12T09:42:00.006-05:00

As Jon Jon rapidly approaches his first birthday, I have been told by my DR, and read in my Mommy books, that I am supposed to wean him from the bottle and move on to cups. This sounds great in theory. No more bottles to clean. No more drying rack on the counter (this part makes me super happy). As I think of a future bottle-free Jon Jon, I don't really see this as a big challenge for him. He's not very fussy about demanding a bottle. He's not one of those kids who is always toting a bottle where ever he goes. In fact, at this moment he is down to only 2 bottles a day - always given by me while snuggled on the couch. But I am dreading giving up the bottles, and I realize that it is me that needs to be weaned.

It's been shocking to me how much Jon Jon seems like a kid now, and no longer a baby. Every day he is tackling a new motor skill and becoming more and more independent in his play. He is on the cusp of walking, and has even started to dance (which really looks more like he's humping his stand-n-play-music-thingy). Where did my baby go?? How can he be this old already!? It is this thought makes me want to feed him a bottle forever. Constantly on the move, bottle time is the only time I can get him to sit still in my lap. We settle on the couch, and I wrap a blanket around us. He peacefully sucks down his milk and I get to kiss his head and examine the ever changing landscape of his hairline. As soon as he's done he wants off the couch and out of my arms to play on the floor with his toys. My blissful 10 minutes of baby is over.

Over the past year I have had many a grandmother, aunt, family friend, want to feed him his bottle and they tell me that it is heaven on earth. The happiness in their face as they look lovingly down at little Jon Jon is immeasurable. I imagine that they are reliving their own days as a young mother and how special those times were. I was always too happy to hand him over. Yes! Please feed my baby. I need to shower, or pee, or just generally not be holding something. But now, now I get it. Now I look forward to bottle time, knowing that it's days are numbered. As I write this I wonder if I am overly sensitive to it, knowing that our family plan is not to have any more children. So this really is the end of my bottle days. Yes there will be more babies available to me through family and friends that I could steal for a few bottle minutes, but it will never be the same.

My baby Jon Jon is quickly growing into a "big boy" and although it makes me happy and proud to watch his daily accomplishments, it's a bittersweet time. Every older person I have had random conversations with at places like the grocery store has said to me, take in every moment - they grow so fast. Boy were they right. And even though I feel like I have been very conscious of this fact all through the past year, and have tried to freeze moments in my mind, it's still crazy how quickly they change and how quickly the year has gone.

So I am giving myself one more month to wean myself from the bottle. I think I deserve it. And I don't think Jon Jon will mind all that much. But after that, we're both getting on the wagon.

I love my Life

2010-01-07T14:31:00.004-05:00

So in case you read my last blog, which I have since taken down, I thought I should probably set the record straight. I love my life. I realize that the blog may have come across negative and make it seem like I was an unhappy person. Which is not true. I was merely trying to express that my first year as a stay-at-home-mom has been a challenging one, and full of change. I doubt any parent would say that their first year as a parent wasn't challenging. But would I go back and change any of it? Not a bit. Let me tell you why I love my life.

I love my son. I love everything about him. I love his dimples - especially the ones on his bum. I love how he says "mmmmm" when he's eating something he really likes. I love the way he lights up when he sees his daddy. I love the way his breath is kind of stinky when he wakes up from a nap. I love how independent he already seems, but that he stills needs me constantly by his side. I love the way he laughs. And I really love the first smile he gives me in the morning when I go to get him from his crib.

I love being a home maker. I love cooking 3 meals a day for my little Jon and making a delicious dinner every night for my big Jon. I take pride in keeping a clean house. I like having so much food in the pantry that I could probably whip up any recipe my husband might crave on a sunday afternoon. It makes me smile when Jon tells me that he is so happy every night that he gets to come home to his family. And though I make fun of him for it, it does secretly make me feel good when Jon calls our life "wholesome".

I do like living in the country. I love the privacy. I love the gardens, and the woods, and knowing that they will be a great place for Jon Jon to play in the future. I love our house. Even though you may feel a stiff breeze coming through the dining room in January from the 200 year old windows, it still feels cozy.

I am looking forward to 2010. I am excited for what 2010 will bring as Jon Jon becomes a toddling toddler. So bring on the new year! I am ready for you! I love my life and know that the next year will only be better.

Swine Flu Frenzy

2009-11-04T21:13:00.003-05:00

There's been a lot on my mind lately, and it's probably been on yours too. If you haven't heard about Swine flu at this point, well maybe your stuck under a pig somewhere. As a mom, this pandemic takes on a whole new layer, when you are not only looking out for yourself, but your little ones too. For me, I have been expending a lot of effort not only trying to avoid the Swine flu, but also debating whether or not to get Jon Jon vaccinated.

My first instincts were not to vaccinate Jon Jon, citing all the usual possible vaccine cons... it is too new, it hasn't been properly tested, and there are too many possible side effects. I hadn't planned on giving him the seasonal flu shot either. With Jon Jon home with me, I felt that his risks of exposure were low, and didn't warrant vaccination. I also saw first hand one of the possible flu shot side effects when my Grandmother was hit by Guillain-Barre syndrome, after receiving a flu shot. This sickness attacks the nervous system and paralyses a person - most make a full recovery, but it takes time and lots of physical therapy. Even though it is a one-in-a-million risk, when you see it in front of you, it leaves an impression, to say the least.

But as summer turned to fall, and there were more cases of Swine flu reported, and the media coining it a "young person's sickness", I started to get nervous. Maybe I was wrong, maybe I should sign up to get Jon Jon vaccinated. I asked family members their opinions. I asked mommy friends theirs. Hell, I even asked our plumber his opinion! And everyone had something different to say, and all were valid points. I heard more than once, "I don't think you can make a wrong decision, you just have to do what you're comfortable with." Well, what if I'm not comfortable with any of it?

I have spent lots of time reading internet articles on the topic, and had multiple discussions with my husband, and close family members. I was kind of surprised that no one was giving me a clear answer as to what to do. And certainly the one who it affected the most, wasn't giving me any answers.... little Jon Jon completely oblivious to the hours of debate revolving around his well being. I kind of just wanted someone to tell me what to do, make the decision for me. But I guess this is the part of being a parent that makes people say, "being a parent is the hardest job you'll ever have."

As the nightly news got progressively worse, and Facebook status's everywhere were building into a Swine flu vaccination frenzy, I made a call to my pediatrician. What I not so quickly learned, as I was put on hold multiple times, was that there was a waiting list for the H1N1 vaccine and we would be number 113. Well, if nothing else, it gives us some more time to get comfortable with our decision.

Once more I have been shown how being a parent is "hard", in ways that I hadn't fully expected. Yes, I obviously knew I would ultimately be responsible for many medical decisions involving my son. I started doing this the day I found out I was pregnant. But until you're there, you don't really get it. This innocent and loving child is fully dependent on me to make major decisions for him - and here I am forced to make decisions without feeling 100% confident in my actions. What a scary place to be. Talking it over with my own mother, who clearly has a lot more experience than me, reminded me that there would be a million difficult decisions to make in Jon Jon's future... like when to allow him to sleep over a friends house, or let him take the car alone for the first time. Hmm. This is going to be hard.

So I guess the moral of my story is, there are hard decisions to be made when it comes to parenting. But if you are struggling with a parenting decision, I applaud you. Because ultimately it means that you love your child, and isn't that what it's all about.

Things I Thought I'd Never Do

2009-10-08T13:30:00.003-04:00

Things I thought I'd never do until I had a baby:

1. Find it completely acceptable to not take off slippers for 2 days.

2. Have serious discussions with spouse about the importance of Desitin.

3. Read an article entitled "Baby Poop photos: What's normal, What's not" with actual interest.

4. Be able to completely block out a crying baby while driving in traffic.

5. Be so happy when my child goes to bed, and then miss him an hour later.

6. Spend so much money on clothes for someone other than myself.

7. Be seriously dependent on my DVR.

8. Think "soccer mom" isn't such a bad title.

9. Ask for help without feeling guilty.

10. Know that size 3 diapers from BJ's are 16 cents per diaper.

11. Be so happy to have a date night, that even braking down on the side of the road is still fun.

12. Almost 9 months later, still have some baby weight to loose.

13. Feel like I won the lottery because I made Jon Jon belly laugh.

14. Understand the need to not let your baby sleep in the car so that they can nap in their crib, and do all sorts of crazy things to keep them awake.

15. Sort of miss 3am bottle feedings.

16. Say cliche things like, "They grow up so fast" and "I now understand how my mother feels about me" and actually mean them.

17. Have a serious dislike for all things Winnie the Pooh.

18. Some days think my husband is the lucky one because he gets to go to work.

19. Go to a playdate with 10 other pairs of mommies and kiddos and actually have a great time.

20. Still check to make sure Jon Jon is breathing everytime I walk by his room when he's sleeping.

21. Within the span of a minute, think my child is brilliantly gifted, and then worry that he'll never learn to talk.

22. Like folding teeny tiny clothes.

23. Wonder what the hell is in those diapers that makes them do what they do.

24. Cut a grape into 16 pieces.

25. Love someone else so much it can make you cry.

What the Cool Kids Are Wearing

2009-10-04T10:48:00.002-04:00

Being a mom has really opened up a whole new world to me - of shopping! Who knew it was so exciting to buy 4" inseam jeans and moose covered jammies! Even buying new sippy cups has a certain thrill to it. Here's a few of my past, present, and future favorite shopping adventures.

A few months ago a friend introduced me to Etsy.com, a fabulous website for artisans and collectors of super cool stuff to sell their wares. Aside from having tons of fun just looking at the crazy things you can buy on this site, like leather children's lederhosen (because who doesn't need a pair of those), you can also get great kids clothes. I just ordered these super cute Robe ez-esque shoes embroidered with Jon Jon's name on it. Same price as Robeez, but you choose your color combo and style, and get to put your little tike's name on them.

On the subject of shoes, I just found this fabulous footwear through Daily Candy Kids. Stonz Wear makes the most fabulous looking boots for kids I've ever seen. A little pricey at $47, but when you see them, you just might bust out your Amex anyway. The good news, is because the sizing is pretty loose, you could get away with one size for the whole winter, which may make you feel a little less guilty about buying them. Or you could so what I'm doing, and adding this to Grandma's Christmas list.

One website that is no stranger to moms everywhere is One Step Ahead. They have affordable, practical and just plain cool stuff to makes moms and kids lives easier and more fun. My latest favorite from this website is this sleeping "blanket" with legs! Now that Jon Jon is Mr rolly

polly in the crib, I knew there was no way he could be put into sleeping bags this winter. But I am terrified of the blanket-SIDS possibilities so these little gems are the perfect solution. Plus he feels super cuddly when you hold his while wearing this baby version of the Snuggie.

Another soon-to-be-mom friend introduced to me the fabulous shopping excitement of bTrendie. This super cool site has a never ending rotation of designer brand sales that last only a couple days, and have rock bottom prices; in other words, you snooze you loose. This week on bTrendie they will be having a sale on urban chic strollers from Quinny and Maxi-Cosi car seats, both at 40% off prices. They say these events are invite-only, but this really only means you need to sign up with your email address to create and account.

On the same idea of an invite-only website is Hautelook. This discount shopping site not only has designer children's clothes, but items for mom, dad and the home as well. This week on Hautelook you can score some swag from Right Bank Babies, and Siwy jeans. So go get your shop on! And best of all, all this cool stuff can be purchased while in the comfort of your slippers, and on your couch during baby's nap time. Enjoy!

Jon Jon's Memoirs

2009-09-22T15:55:00.012-04:00

Jon Jon is shockingly already 8 months old now. Which is still clearly, very young. But I feel like I need to start his memoirs now, before I start to forget too much. I haven't kept a baby book. I haven't made a scrap book. I don't even have a photo album put together yet. If it wasn't for Facebook, I would probably never get around to getting his pictures off my camera! I didn't write down the day of his first smile, or his first laugh. Or the time he first rolled over. I am a bad momma.

But I remember all the events, and I was there for them - so that must count for something. Right? The first weeks are a little fuzzy. It was surreal, to say the least. Going throug childbirth - however they end up getting out - is a crazy experience. And then the day they send you home, you kind of feel like, is there going to be a test? They really trust us to take this living being home with us? What if we screw up? I was a nervous wreck driving home, and of course had to sit in the backseat with Jon Jon. I kept watching that thingy on the side of the carseat that shows if it is level - if you see the orange line, that's bad. Well I made Jon stop twice and check the carseat because I kept seeing the orange line roll in and out of view. Then I finally realized it was doing this every time we went up or down a hill and this was completely normal. And I'm pretty sure I only breathed as I saw Jon Jon's chest rise and fall, which thankfully he did the whole way home.

The day we took Jon Jon home, was also the day that President Obama was inaugurated. So while most everyone else in America was watching the proceedings on television, and marveling over what an amazing step this was in US history, we were marveling over our own amazing step into parenthood. It was certainly a day of change, that I will never forget.

Being cooped up in the house with a newborn in January was pretty much as everyone said it would be. We didn't get much sleep. Taking a shower moved very low on the priority list. We didn't really leave the house - hell, we barely left the bedroom. But in the middle of winter, what else is there really to do? So as a family, we hunkered down inside, in the warmth and enjoyed the cozy feeling you get when there is 2 feet of snow outside, and you know you don't have to step foot in it. We listened to a lot of Jack Johnson, Jon Mayer, and anything else that came over Pandora.com, nice and mellow and easy. There were tears of joy and tears of frustration and tears of exhaustion. But we made it through to Spring, and now I look back on those first weeks and wish I could go back, just for a day or 2. I miss my little newborn already. He doesn't have that newborn smell anymore. And I worked so hard to help him to happily sleep in his crib, that now he won't fall asleep in my arms anymore.

He feels so independent - you know, for a baby that still needs you for everything. He only wants to feed himself. He gets mad if I try and spoon fed him purees. "I'm so past that mom!" He can sit and happily amuse himself with his toys for a good stretch of time. He loves to just play in his crib. I swear sometimes he pretends to be tired just so he can go in there and have some alone time. And when he is in his walker - you can watch him making decisions. Like how to get from the living room to the kitchen. And making a 180 turn if he gets cornered.

What happened to my little blob?? He is not even one yet, and I am already missing "baby" Jon Jon. I guess this is when women start saying they are ready for another. (Not us, don't worry.) He has come so far in only 8 months. He now has those belly laughs, that make you belly laugh, that make him belly laugh, and so on, and so on. He smiles with recognition as he sees Daddy pull up the driveway coming home from work. And he is starting to show those toddler tendencies where he doesn't want to sit still in your lap at all, he constantly wants to be on the move. They grow up so fast. It's a cliche, but it's dead on.

But I am excited for all those great things to come in the next few months. The first time he crawls, or walks, or says Momma or Dada. Today we had a first that really broke my heart: he cried tears for the first time. It was so cute and sweet, I almost wanted to grab my camera. But as with many other milestones it went undocumented, other than in my memory (well, and now in this blog). And that's ok. I feel like these days people are so obsessed with getting

everything in their life on camera, in video, and on paper that perhaps they are not fully living it. They are so busy getting it documented that they miss being in the moment.

8 Months has certainly gone by fast, and it has been a bigger adjustment than I ever though possible. And how crazy that I can hardly remember a life before Jon Jon. It's like the world didn't start spinning until he came along. And what a great ride it has been.

Thou Shalt Not Judge

2009-08-23T10:14:00.010-04:00

Well, I've definitely been on a summer blog vacation. Imagine my shock when I thought I wrote my last entry only a couple weeks ago.... but it's been a month! Time flies when you are hibernating inside with your AC unit. My plan had been to write 2 entries a week. I guess 2 a month should perhaps be my new goal. Once again my son has taught me a lesson in being flexible.

For generations upon generations, parents have always said that your children are the ones that teach you life lessons, and not just the other way around. I never got this before. Nor did I spend too much energy wondering about it. But recently, I have been thinking about this a lot. Being a parent has most certainly taught me a lot about unconditional love, patience and selflessness. To be a halfway decent parent, you need to learn these oh-so-important character traits and embrace them. But what I didn't see coming, was what I would learn about being judgmental.

I never considered myself to be a particularly judgmental person. I never really gave it much thought actually. But being a parent suddenly made me think about this concept. Moms will always tell other moms when discussing parenting decisions: whatever works for you and your family. Translation: no judgment from me if you need to put your baby in a swing and blast country music just to get 6 hours of straight sleep! Because who are we to judge what is happening in your house, and what your families needs are. But I think as a mom, we often do feel like maybe we are being judged for the choices we make. Breastfeeding vs. formula. Cloth diapers vs. disposable. And when we feel like we in the presence of other moms who may behave differently than us, we feel the need to explain ourselves - so that they don't judge us and our choices. It can be down right exhausting.

Being in a mommy group - while amazing for the support it can bring - can also bring out the judge in all of us. We watch our friends and what they are doing with their children, and we ask ourselves - would we do the same thing? Is this something I would never consider? Is this something maybe I should consider? Do I think this person is downright crazy?? And do they think the same thing about me?? I feel fortunate for being in a group of ladies who openly discuss different parenting choices without being judgmental. Or at least I don't feel a big cloud of judgment hanging over us. I am sure there have been moments of unspoken opinions - but again, who are we to say what works for one family?? If no one is getting hurt, can it be all that bad?

Like I said, I never considered how judgment of others played any role in my life. Until I had a child. But now what I grapple with is this: does having an opinion about how someone else parents the same as judging them? And do we even have a right to have an opinion about anything outside of our family group? Is it just because we are insecure about our own parenting skills that we feel the need to even care about what others are doing? When a breastfeeding mom asks a formula mom why she didn't breastfeed - is she attacking that mom? Is she sitting in judgement of her choice?

Sometimes these seemingly benign questions make us feel so defensive, because really we are judging ourselves. When someone asks me if my child is crawling yet - and even though I know at 7 months old, this would be pretty advanced - I sometimes feel defensive. Like maybe if I had spent more energy on doing tummy time, he would be crawling already. And are they making a snap judgment on me as a parent because of my child's ability to crawl or not. I fail to realize that the person asking me has a 1o month old who is not yet crawling, and maybe they are just asking because they are fearing that their child is developmentally behind, and if my kid is already crawling that would just be the worst news ever. You can see how the mind of a mom can sometimes spin out of control.

So to all the Moms... take it easy on other moms. They are trying their best. Don't judge a person who has a backpack/leash on their child. Maybe their child wandered away once and it was the scariest 30 minutes of their life that they have vowed never to go through again. As parents, we will always question ourselves and whether or not we are doing all we can for our kids. But don't judge yourself to harshly. The fact alone that you do ask yourself this question, means you are doing a great job.

Mommies Are Dangerously Fun

2009-07-23T20:43:00.004-04:00

About 8 years ago I had a I'm-in-between-jobs stint in bartending. It was exactly the lighthearted, fast money, kind of job I needed to drag me from the doldrums of management. I was working at a new and trendy martini bar - the kind that college kids would never go to because there were no pitchers or darts in sight. It was for the "discerning, upscale crowd" - or so their ads said. And I often would serve women in their 30's and 40's who seemed like they were having too good of a time. Acting crazy, drinking too much, and dancing like fools. And I'll be the first to admit - they annoyed the crap out of me! Geez - go home and go to bed! I hope I'm not doing that in 10 years! I always made the assumption that these women were single - probably divorcees. Why else would they be out partying at a bar on a Saturday night? Married women would never behave this way - especially not mothers. But oh how wrong I was!

After I was married, I spent most of my weekends snuggled up on the sofa with my hubby. But when I did venture out on the town, I felt a shift in my bar behavior. Suddenly I wasn't there to scope out the opposite sex. I was there purely for my own enjoyment - to throw some heels on, spend time with girlfriends, and have a few cocktails. And I also didn't really care what I did and what people thought of me. Who was I trying to impress? I could dance like a fool, talk to strangers without any ulterior motives, and even throw in a little karaoke from time to time.

Then after I had Jon Jon, I started hanging out with a local mommy group, and we began organizing Mommy's Night Out. Boy - you want to see some silly women out at a bar! After being cooped up in the house all day, I don't even care if the other people at the bar have all their teeth! I want to get out! I want to wash my hair, wear some lip gloss, have a glass of wine, and have some laughs. And wow, do we laugh. There is still a lot of "baby talk", as it is our common bond. But then there are stories of our past, discussions of current events (OMG - John and Kate are getting divorced!!), and somehow it always ends in a little karaoke. Because tomorrow is another day filled with dirty diapers, missed naps, thrown food, and possibly a husband who wants you to cook dinner at the end of it all. So for tonight, we will let loose and enjoy a few hours where no one needs anything from us other than friendship.

It makes me think back to those women at the martini bar who I thought were so crazy and annoying. Maybe they were just moms trying to relive their youth and enjoy their escape from mommy hood for one night. I hope they had fun and that their martinis were yummy, because I get it now. So when the Real Housewives of Windham County, as we like to call ourselves, are out on the town, we may act a little silly and be a little loud. But try not to judge us. Know that we are better mothers for having the chance to blow off some steam. And if you're feeling so inclined - buy us a drink! Cheers!

Daddies Do It Different, and That's Ok

2009-07-15T21:05:00.009-04:00

It has recently occurred to me that who ever decided on the title for the show "Father Knows Best" was most certainly a man, and probably a single, childless one. Because I am pretty sure there are very few women who would utter these words seriously. In fact, I actually doubt the majority of fathers would agree with this statement either. But it was the 50's, and I am also sure at the time, the only women working at NBC were working the phones.

Let me just say up front, this is in no way intended to be any sort of feminist, male bashing post. I love my husband with all my heart, and think he's a wonderful father. But he is not a Mother. And in my humble opinion, it is often Mothers who know best. But how does she know best? And does she really? Is it because she has superior parenting intelligence? Because her Mother's intuition is so finely tuned? Maybe a little - but not entirely.

I am a SAHM (a.k.a. Stay at Home Mom, a.k.a. Shit Ass Ho Motherfucker, according to Dooce writer Heather Armstrong), so my entire day revolves around my little Jon Jon. I am constantly thinking about him and how to make the most of his next precious day. What time should his next nap be? When did he last eat? We really need to do more of that Tummy Time - which we both find supremely tedious. Is he hitting his milestones on time? The list goes on and on. And then when I go to bed at night, I spend half of my bedside reading devoted to parenting books. I love it. It's now my full time job, and I take it very seriously. So I do sort of think I know best. Especially when I spend day in and day out with Jon Jon, and Big Jon only gets to spend time with him on evenings and weekends, I really shouldn't be surprised when he looks to me for guidance on how to best parent Jon Jon. Or he just does things on his own, and they are sometimes different, and that's OK too.

I didn't used to think this was OK. I would snap at Big Jon for the way he handled Jon Jon, or the parenting choices he would make. Probably a lot of my snippyness came from simple sleep deprivation. But I think part of me would think - I have worked so hard to come up with the way I parent, and I feel like it's working, so why does he have to do things his own way? Why can't he just do them my way?? But this is scary thinking. And I'd like to say that I caught myself in this thought process, and immediately scolded myself. Well, I didn't.

But then a funny thing happened. Big Jon taught me a trick or two. In a mad effort to loose the baby weight, I have been spending more free time at the gym. And after a recent ab-kicking workout, came home to find Jon Jon swinging in his swing in the middle of the kitchen, with Poison blaring out of the speakers. Big Jon was smiling away as I walked in and told me that Jon Jon liked it when you sing heavy metal to him. He does?? Really? And Big Jon started dancing around the kitchen singing along to his hair band favorites and Little Jon was smiling away. Then last week Big Jon said, "I have a new song for Jon Jon!!" And he started singing "The Ants Go Marching". Not the Dave Mathews version - the "one by one" version. But not only was he singing it by making up his own lyrics, which was adorable , but he was singing it in his best Count Dracula impression. Priceless. And Jon Jon was loving every minute of it! Then this past weekend, upon returning from the gym, little Jon was napping and Big Jon was widdling away in his workshop. "How was your morning", I asked. "Great! We watched a movie together," big Jon replied. Come again? Not only did they watch a movie together, but it was Predator 2. Not really Disney approved. But he was so happy that he got to spend the morning snuggled up on the couch with his little buddy, how could I deny him this happiness? Even if I've read 28 studies on how TV is bad for a child's development. Isn't the power of tactile closeness also an important part of development?

So maybe he doesn't hold him the same way I do when he feeds a bottle. And maybe he sometimes leaves Jon Jon in his PJs all day, because they "haven't been spit or peed on, so why should we change him?" But he loves his son with all his heart, and would do anything for that little man. And once again, being a parent has taught me a life lesson, and challenged my view in a way that is oh so important. Everyone needs a reminder once in awhile to continue to be humble and open minded, because sometimes Daddies do it different and that's OK.

These are a few of my favorite things....

2009-07-13T07:59:00.005-04:00

Babies come with a lot of stuff. As a pregnant new mom, walking into a Babies 'R' Us store is enough to make you hyperventilate and send you into early labor. What the heck is a Boppy? Why are there 30 different kinds of bottles? Do I really need a Diaper Genie? Filling out your baby registry can be a scary experience and by the time you are done you have no idea how you ended up with no less than 40 bibs, 58 onsies, and 10 sets of sheets. Having a baby can certainly be an exercise in excess. But it doesn't have to be. I was really adamant about not letting my home turn into babyland - and have somewhat succeeded. But this only comes from being super picky and not buying everything in sight before the baby comes (very hard to do). Because what you think you need pre-baby, may change drastically post-baby. This is also where having other new mom friends or joining a mom group while you are still pregnant, comes in super handy. Ask lots of advice on what their favorite items were and what were a total waste of money.

These are a few of my most useful and favorite baby products thus far... (in no particular order - because that would tax my mommy brain way too much!)

1. A baby swing. This was not an item I bought before Jon Jon was born. But a Mommy friend of mine offered up hers as a loaner and I was an immediate convert. So much so that I now have two. One upstairs and one downstairs - which is also a travel swing that folds up and can go to grandma's house without too much effort. These are a great place for newborns to nap, a safe place to hold your baby when you can not, and a place they can lounge and play with small toys once their dexterity kicks in.

2. Activity center. If you've been reading my blog already, you know what a fan I am of my Baby Einstein Activity Center. From the time I finally put it together - it is by far his favorite toy! And again, it is a great place to put your baby while you are trying to get a few things done. Granted this is a rather large item and I was skeptical about having it in the middle of my living room. But it is so useful and Jon Jon loves it so much, that it now has a permanent spot. I love the fact that this one has a seat that swivels around, so he can feel he is somewhat control his destiny - and it has a lot of different level toys, that as he becomes more coordinated he can find new things to do.

3. Tivo. Ok - this is not a baby item. But if you have a baby, and you enjoy watching TV, you MUST have Tivo. Never again (unless the baby is sleeping, and sometimes not even then) will you be able to watch your favorite show, uninterrupted, from start to finish. But when you Tivo, you can make better use of your time - no commercials to sit through - and you can be sure that when you do finally have some time to collapse on the couch, you are not stuck watching whatever happens to be on. You can watch American Idol, even if it happens to be 5a.m.

4. Cheap bottles. I registered for Born Free bottles. But when I opened the box, and saw that each bottle had about 5 pieces that needed to be taken apart and put back together every time you filled or washed them, I said "Oh, no. No way." Next time I was at Walmart I bought simple, no fuss, no mess Gerber bottles, and have never looked back. Now, I do realize that some bottles may make certain babies more gassy than others, and Moms may find that these complicated bottle systems are the only way to go. But why not try the simple ones first? Maybe you'll never need anything else. They are also a lot lighter to carry around, and for baby to try and hold. Also, if you leave one somewhere you won't feel so bad about it being out ten bucks.

5. My Bugaboo stroller. I can't say enough great things about this stroller. This is an investment item for sure, and if you can get a few people to go in on one for a gift, even better. But this stroller will most likely be the only stroller you need to buy, saving you money, hassle, and garage space in the long run. From infancy, if you buy the car seat adapter and corresponding car seat, you can take baby from car and into the store or for a walk with a quick snap on the frame. We also used the bassinet portion of this stroller for the first month of Jon Jon's life. We kept it in our bedroom and wheeled him around to the side of bed to who ever was in charge of the next feeding. The seat also pops on and off very easily - so you could really use to double as an infant seat - easily plopping it on the floor or on a table. I could go on and on about this stroller.... not to mention that they look cool and come in all sorts of fun colors!

6. Portable Ipod speakers. When we started our night time routine with Jon Jon at about 6 weeks old, it included listening to a Bach for Babies CD. Then we placed small Ipod/nano speaker dock in his room and it is always cued up to Bach - press one button and you're all set. But this has also been invaluable for traveling. We have done a lot of mini vacations since Jon Jon was born, and this speaker has come everywhere with us. And no matter where he is, in a pack 'n' play or crib, at Grandma's or Nana's, as soon as he hears his favorite Bach tune, he knows its sleepy time. Our player also runs on batteries if needed, and I have used this for long car trips, to give him something familiar to listen to when he starts to get fussy.

Since Jon Jon is on the eve of his 6 month birthday, we'll stop at 6 favorites. I am sure there will still be mistaken purchases in the years to come. But in the current economy, getting the biggest bang for you baby gear buck has never been more important. So bring on the advice! What are your favorite baby items? Looking ahead to months 6-12, what do you think will help us make it through relatively stress free?? Because isn't that really the point of all this stuf?!

From Maine and Back

2009-07-10T19:23:00.006-04:00

So we made it back from Maine in one piece... well, almost. After 3 blissful days of fun in the sun, lobsters and cocktails galore, and more croquet than any one person should ever play - Jon Jon got sick for the first time. It started with a runny nose on Sunday that I attributed to the possible start of teething. But after a sleepless night, Jon Jon did another first - he projectile vomited all over me. Then began 2 hours of straight, sad, whimper type crying - the kind that would break any parents heart - until he finally fell asleep.

Under normal circumstances the hypochondriac mother in me would have freaked out - simply because this was Jon Jon's first illness. But being on a remote island where the closest hospital is a helicopter ride away, my mind got away with me. What if he passes out? What if he continues to vomit? What if he has some crazy stomach virus? What if he caught West Nile from the massive amounts of Maine mosquitoes?? Let me tell you, I never felt more helpless in my life. I have heard other mothers say this cliche abut having a sick child - but cliches do start for a reason. To have your child look at you with those sad questioning eyes, as if to say "What is happening mommy? Why do I feel so horrible? Can't you make it stop?" It's enough to make yourself feel sick. So I did what any panicking mother would do - I called my mother-in-law.

Ok, well maybe this wouldn't be every mother's first call, but it was mine. My MIL used be a pediatric nurse - so to say she has some experience with babies, is an understatement. She also has a way of not getting over excited about anything - like I always do. When I called and explained what was going on she simply said, "Aww, baby's got his first cold." Right... a cold. That's all. But I still did not like the fact that we were so very far from home. So we packed ourselves up and caught the next ferry off the island, cutting our vacation a day short.

On the ferry, Jon Jon gave me a few weak smiles, but once he had another bottle his spirits started to perk up. He was still sniffly, and had a runny nose - but I think the shock of it had worn off for him, and like a trooper he flashed me the peace sign to tell me it would all be ok. So crisis averted - we made it home in one piece. But it has not inspired me to want to take any vacations any time soon. Funny how sometimes we work so hard to plan a get-away, especially when you have a child and just want a small escape from the everyday grind. But then there are those moments when you find yourself wishing you could tap your heels, and Dorothy style - be home in a heartbeat. This was one of those times. We had a great time while there, but when you have a sick child, there certainly is No Place Like Home.

Momma's Ark

2009-06-26T21:22:00.008-04:00

OK - so I've definitely been feeling pretty unmotivated lately, and haven't updated in awhile. Or perhaps it's because I've been busy building an ark because of all the freakin' rain we've been having! I can not remember the last time it rained so much. I haven't taken Jon Jon for a walk in his stroller in 2 weeks. And rain boots have become a permanent fashion accessory. The only upside is that I have not had to water my gardens since Memorial Day.

It leads me to question, if I did have to build an ark, what would I put in it? And I'm not talking about packing it with pairs to keep the animal kingdom in balance. What are the necessities for my families survival? Well this question is not too far off from reality. Next week Big Jon, Little Jon and I are heading north for 5 days. Childhood friends of Jon have a home on the island of North Haven, Maine. We are super excited to spend some quality time with good people, good food, good drink, and we hope - good weather! But to get there we need to travel a solid 5 hours by car, and then another hour and half by ferry - all with a 5 month old strapped into his car seat. If you are a mom, you can imagine that I have been having nightmares about making this trip and even more so, packing for it, for weeks.

Normally when you travel, and you get that nagging suspicion that you've forgotten something, you say "Well, there are stores. If I forget something, I'll just buy it." But this will not be the case on North Haven. There is one store (I think) and I'm pretty sure they won't have my child's specific Evenflow bottle nipples, or the bath lotion without which he cannot sleep. So everyday I have been making a mental list of all the things I must not forget (yes - writing it down would make more sense - but mommy brain prevents me from being sensible). And then there are my worries of how will I keep my baby happy and amused when not in his own surroundings. Ideally I want to throw the Baby Einstein activity center in the back of the car - but that's crazy, right? Nobody else coming has a child and will most likely look at us like those crazy parents who have to drag all this paraphernalia with them wherever they go. But all I want to do is make sure Jon Jon is happy and not crying and miserable the whole time, and thus making everyone else miserable.

Now if we actually had an ark, I could fit everything I needed in it! Fabulous - no worries. But alas we do not have an ark. What we do have is my mother-in-law's Lexus SUV - the largest car of any family member that we could borrow - and hopefully that will do the trick. We plan to pack it to the brim with essentials for the whole family, clothes, food, cocktails, board games, croquet mallets and possibly, if we can fit it, Baby Einstein himself. A refreshing change will be the lack of un-essentials... cable TV, Wi Fi, cell phone signals, computers, etc. What we will enjoy is the view of the ocean, the smell of steaks on the grill, eagles soaring by, the taste of fresh lobsters and the clink of a wine glass or two. I think I can live with that for a few days, even if we do have to have the tunes of Old MacDonald in the background.

Ramos, Inc.

2009-06-12T13:24:00.006-04:00

~~I am a mom.~~ ~~I am a Stay-At-Home-Mom.~~ ~~I am a homemaker.~~ ~~I run a household and parent a child.~~ I am CFO, CEO, and President of Ramos, Inc!

I'll be the first to admit. I thought being a SAHM (stay at home mom) would be a snap. Take care of the baby. Do some laundry, cook some dinner, and keep the house tidy. I've run a business with 25 employees, hell I've even owned my own business. How hard can being a "housewife" be? Truthfully, it's the hardest job I've ever had.

SAHMers vs Working Moms has been an ongoing mommy point of contention ever since June Cleaver threw in her dish cloth. "It's anti-family to work!" or "It's anti-feminist to stay home!" And there's no right answer to this parenting dilemma. It's a matter of personal choice, of what serves you and your family best. But I do believe that some people who have never tried to be a SAHM - especially men - still think we moms sit around watching soaps all day. I can tell you, at least in my case, I have no time for soaps.

My husband Jon works a lot of hours and has a long commute, so when he walks out the door, he's gone. There's no stopping in to say hi, or running to the grocery store on his lunch break. There are days when the dog and Jon Jon are my only conversation pals. But these are the choices we made to allow us to have one parent at home and one working. See now, there even I said it. I'm not "working". But you know - I am working. I am working very hard and I hate saying "I'm not working." or "I'm doing the mom thing." "I'm staying home." I got up this morning at 5:30 just so I cold enjoy my morning tea on my "work break".

When you are a SAHM, you are always ON. There's no putting the baby down and then popping out for lunch, or doing a little shopping. You're on call all day. And then somehow in that day you try and do laundry, clean the house, pay the bills, water the gardens, balance the checkbook (yeah, right), cook some dinner, go to the store, the post office, everywhere with baby in tow. And if you're lucky, you'll find 10 minutes to sit outside in the sun and enjoy your new copy of Vogue - which so doesn't apply to you anymore, as you are still in your bathrobe at 2pm. I never imagined how challenging it would be. And there are days when I want to hide from it all. But what I hate most, is that it makes me feel like a cliche - of that housewife who is exhausted and ragged by the end of the day.

But most days I completely love it, and feel lucky that I get to do it. I get to see Jon Jon through every emotion that crosses his little face. I get to laugh with him, and make funny faces and let him help me cook, as I put the Bumbo on the kitchen counter. I get to take him for walks. I get to watch him taste green beans for the first time. I'm there for it all, and I don't have to worry about leaving him with anyone else to do all those things for him. Have we had to make changes in our life to live on one salary? Yes. And they are the best changes we've ever made.

I wish there was a different way to say, stay-at-home-mom. When people now ask me what I do, saying "I'm a mom" always makes me feel like I need to explain what I was doing before, and what kind of careers I've had in the past. And maybe that's my own hang-up about stepping away from a traditional career path. But I really don't think that people give SAHMs the credit they deserve. I know that before I had Jon Jon, I certainly didn't. One day when Jon Jon was about 6 weeks old, and big Jon watched him for a whole day, while I took a day to myself, he said to me, "This is hard! I don't know how you get anything done around here!" And you know what I said? "Thank you." And then I think I cried a little, being the hormonal post-partum mess that I was. But that was the best compliment I ever received. And it made me ready, once again, to face a day at Ramos, Inc. with a smile. :)

Stop and Smell the Poppies

2009-06-05T15:08:00.005-04:00

Ok - so It's been 8 days since my last blog. But who's counting. Apparently this blogging thing is a little more time consuming than I thought. Or maybe it's just everything else in my life that's time consuming.... ummmm, like a baby! Everyone tells you that a baby is "work". But kind of like that saying about knowing when you've found the partner of your dreams, "You'll just know." You don't really know how much work it's going to be, until you're there. It's work, not sweaty work, or brain surgery work. Anyone can change a diaper, feed a bottle, do some laundry, clean the house, pay the bills, water the gardens, go grocery shopping, make dinner - well I could just go on and on. But can you do it all in one day?? I consider myself to be moderately intelligent and still these simple tasks can sometimes drive me to drink - wine, and more wine. And occasionally a vacation...Last weekend we spent with my parents, my Mother-In-Law, her husband and my Aunt and Uncle. It was a fabulous weekend! Jon Jon came with us, but he spent more time with everyone else than his own parents. But that was the point - for them to see him and for big Jon and I to have a break. But what I saw , that I have noticed in the past but didn't pick up on, was that Jon Jon really learns a lot from spending time with people other than me! Especially other Moms. Jon Jon is my first baby, and we live a bit of an isolated life (not counting FaceBook) - usually it's just the 2 of us out here in rural CT. Not that this is bad thing, I quite enjoy it. But we get into our routines as any parent child team does. But when Jon Jon spends time with grandparents, family and friends, they don't know what routines Jon Jon and I have, so they do what they enjoyed doing with their babies. And without a doubt, Jon Jon loves it, and picks up a new skill or a new way to play.

Last weekend his Great Aunt showd him what tree bark felt like, and what it was like to swing in a hammock. His Grandma taught him to do rasberries back and forth, and blow bubbles on command. And his Nana helped him try to clap for the first time, and touched a piece of bacon to his lips and oooo did he love it! All of these things that I wouldn't have thought to do yet! Do I feel like a bad mom? No. But it reminds me to try new things, and help him to try new skills. And even though there may be a pile of laundry waiting to be folded; there's also poppies blooming in the garden that Jon Jon has never seen before, and books we have yet to read together. So I've vowed that everyday we will do one thing we haven't done before - try a new toy, eat a new food, take a different route on our walk... As he discovers the world around him, so do I and that's coolest new skill I have learned in a long time.

My Life Revolves Around Poop

2009-05-28T14:40:00.003-04:00

So the past few days I have been on patrol - poop patrol, that is. Who knew that the bowl movements of a baby would take up some many places in my life... disgust, worry, relief, inspection, wipe quality, diaper quality... the list goes on. For the first month of Jon Jon's life, he was on breast milk - which if you don't know, produces a LOT of poop. Like 8 poops a day. I can remember it being 3am and Big Jon would have just changed Little Jon's diaper and carefully placed him back in his bassinet, and then we would hear it - bbbllpptt - a nice big poop in his nice clean diaper - and we would lay there and laugh. You have to laugh really, other wise you'd go insane. And then the cycle would start again.

Then we switched Jon Jon to formula and the "production line" was scaled back to a very manageable once a day. Consistently stinky, and mustardy, and I thought we had everything under control. Then we had to switch Jon Jon into the next diaper size - and apparently I had bought the twice bigger size, because the poop was no longer being contained! It was going up the back, out the legs and everywhere it shouldn't be. I even had to break out the scissors and cut him out of a couple onsies as to not have to drag his big beautiful head through it! I went and purchsed the correct size diapers, and once more, we were under control.

This past week we started Jon Jon on solids - in the form of rice cereal. He was thrilled. Happily opening up his perfect little mouth and slurping up the cereal with great delight in his new experience. We fed him cereal once a day, each time his spoon skills improving greatly and more cereal making its way in his mouth and not just on his bib. And then I noticed... Where did the poop go?? When was the last time he went? 3 days ago!! So apparently, cereal has a "binding" effect and his system was having a little trouble adjusting. I called the DR to ask for advice - just keep going is what he said, Jon Jon will adjust. My Mom Group friends gave lots of great advice - prune juice, oatmeal, vegetables.

So I went to the store to pick up some juice and oatmeal, like a good mom concerned about my little guys production back-up. And wouldn't you know, as soon as we got home - bbbllpptt!!! Well I was so happy and relieved over Jon Jon's relief, I emailed Big Jon, then emailed my Mom Group - who all said "Yay for Poop" (this is why you need a Mommy group - who else will yay for poop? ) I am pretty sure Jon Jon smiled too as he was doing it :)

I never knew how important poop would be... but really when you think about it, it's one of the biggest ways babies can communicate their digestive situation: no mom, I did not like the pureed prunes, or too much rice cereal makes me grumpy. He can't go to the medicine cabinet to pop some Tums. He relies on me to "read" his poop. Kind of like that gypsy lady reads tea leaves, Moms read poop. So, Yay for moms and their babies' poop all over the world! May your days be diaper filled!

Everyone Loves a Man in Uniform!

2009-05-22T07:43:00.004-04:00

Just in time for Memorial Day, and thanks to a generous Grandma, Jon Jon has a new collection of sailor outfits. I am pretty sure it just does not get any cuter than this! My heart melts every time I look at him. But these kinds of vintage inspired clothes are hard to find. They certainly don't sell them at Old Navy. My mother has made it her personal quest to dress this little guy in as many sailor outfits and "Jon Jons" (yes, this the official name of a certain style of shortalls) as possible. An unexpected perk of these old school outfits too, is that some of them sort look like dresses. And to a girly-girl, Mom of a boy, I'll take what I can get.

As I confessed in my last post, Ebay is a great place to find baby clothes, and many of Jon Jon's super cute duds have come from here. A couple other sites that specialize in hard to find, heirloom type pieces are BestDressedChild and Grammie's Attic. They have more sailor suits than there are sailors and adorable dresses for girls too. But of course, being the fashionista that I am (or try to be) I have been searching long and hard for the perfect shoes to go with these outfits. Not easy! If anyone knows of a great place to by some white, soft leather booties, let me know!

So happy Memorial Day everyone! Get on your uniform and celebrate in style!

Ebay is a Mom's Best Friend

2009-05-19T07:41:00.006-04:00

I am a total Ebay addict! I love it! The bargains, the thrill of the auction and the "presents" that come in the mail thereafter. All in all, a great experience. But as a Mom it's an amazing place to get all the gear you need for you new life with baby. Soon after I got pregnant I starting Ebay stalking Bugaboo strollers - the Mercedes Benz of strollers. Big Jon was horrified when I told him that the limited edition Denim Bugaboo Cameleon I wanted went for a cool $1000! But with some perseverance I found one on Ebay, barely used, for $580! Almost half price! And the great news, is that these strollers are so popular, and hold up so well, that I will probably be able to turn around in sell it to another Mom in a few years when we are done with it.

I've also bought a shamefully large amount of baby clothes on Ebay. New or used, it makes no difference to me - after all, at the rate babies grow out of clothes, you know the used items have not been worn that many times. Cute boys clothes are especially hard to find, and the baby stores at the mall just don't always cut it. But on Ebay you can find great, boutique only brands from all over the country. You can save searches for certain brands you like, and you'll get notified when those items get listed - thus saving you lots of precious searching time. Buying Robeez has been a recent favorite pastime of mine. These fun and colorful leather crib shoes sell for $28 new, but I only paid $12 for my favorite "Mom Tattoo" shoes!

Aside from getting a great deal, I love the idea of "recycling" Mom money. Most of the baby items for sale are coming directly from other moms, who are trying to earn money to buy new gear for their kids. And I have done the same thing. I have sold already outgrown items on Ebay and then used that same money to buy new items for Jon Jon. It helps me out, and it helps other Moms out. And in this economy, who couldn't use a little help? But possible the best thing about Ebay, is that you don't have to take a shower, pack up the baby, find a parking space, fight the crowds and pray that your baby doesn't start screaming, in order to go shopping. You can do it during nap time, while in your bathrobe and slippers, sipping a cup of tea, on the comfort of your sofa. So thanks Ebay for giving Moms a place to exchange their fabulous finds! Now if you'll excuse me, I have some shopping to do - while still in my slippers of course!

Cilantro Makes It All Better

2009-05-16T18:41:00.015-04:00

I know this is supposed to be a blog about parenting - but parents gotta eat too! So I want to share two of my new favorite recipes: Grilled Pork Chops with Garlic Lime Sauce and Black Bean and Tomato Quinoa. Both of which are super easy, include common ingredients and will supply you with some yummy lunch leftovers.

I LOVE cilantro - it smells like summer to me and tastes oh so fresh. I would eat cilantro ice cream if someone made it. And I've been super intrigued about making some quinoa recipes - so this one is perfection. If you haven't heard of quinoa (pronounced keen-wah) it is similar to a grain, and cooked like a grain - but is actually a seed and is high in protein, calcium and iron. In other words - a super healthy alternative to plain old white rice! This quinoa recipe can be made ahead of time and tastes great at room temperature. And the sauce for the pork recipe also works great over grilled tuna steaks - which is what Jon and I did this time around and is pictured.

Black-Bean and Tomato Quinoa

From Gourmet | July 2007

Yield: Makes 4 (side dish) servings
Active Time: 20 minutes
Total Time: 45 minutes

2 teaspoons grated lime zest
2 tablespoons fresh lime juice
2 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted and cooled
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 teaspoon sugar
1 cup quinoa
1 (14- to 15-ounce) can black beans, rinsed and drained
2 medium tomatoes, diced
4 scallions, chopped
1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro

Whisk together lime zest and juice, butter, oil, sugar, 1/2 teaspoon salt, and 1/4teaspoon pepper in a large bowl.

Cook quinoa according to package instructions.

Add quinoa to dressing and toss until dressing is absorbed, then stir in remaining ingredients and salt and pepper to taste.

Per serving: 382 calories, 12 g fat (4 g saturated), 15 mg cholesterol, 446 mg sodium, 55 g carbohydrate, 10 g fiber, 14 g protein

Grilled Pork Chops with Garlic Lime Sauce

Yield: Makes 4 servings
Active Time: 15 minutes
Total Time: 30 minutes

1/4 cup fresh lime juice
1 garlic clove, minced
1/4 teaspoon dried hot red-pepper flakes
1/3 cup olive oil
2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro
6 (1/2-inch-thick) boneless pork chops

Whisk together lime juice, garlic, red-pepper flakes, and 1/4 teaspoon salt, then add oil in a slow stream, whisking well. Whisk in cilantro.

Prepare a gas grill for direct-heat cooking over medium-high heat. Pat pork dry and season with salt and pepper. Oil grill rack, then grill pork chops, covered, turning over once, until just cooked through, 5 to 6 minutes total. Serve drizzled with some vinaigrette, and with remainder on the side.

Cooks' note:
If you aren't able to grill outdoors, chops can be cooked in a hot lightly oiled large (2-burner) ridged grill pan over moderately high heat.

Per serving: 236 calories, 16 g fat (3 g saturated), 1 g carbs, 0 g fiber, 22 g protein, 40 mg sodium, 65 mg cholesterol

And if you're in the mood for a summery fresh and bikini-friendly cocktail - my new favorite is Miller 64 Calorie beer. Stick a lime in it and it tastes just like a Corona - but at 1/2 the calories! Bon Appetit and Cheers!!

Give a Mom a break.

2009-05-13T20:04:00.005-04:00

I had always heard new Moms say how hard it is to get out of the house once you have a baby. But I never had any idea just how hard it was until I became a mom. First you have to time it with naps, then you have to pack the diaper bag - formula, diapers, extra cloths, bottles, water, etc. - get the baby strapped into the car seat, remember your items - phone, wallet, keys, sunglasses, etc. - and if you're lucky you'll be out the door about 20 minutes after you intended to.

Sometimes I wondered if leaving the house was worth the hassle. A simple trip to the grocery store was exhausting. But life still has to go on. There are trips to the post office, the bank, Babies R Us, and the occasional Mommy trip to TJMaxx. Usually Jon Jon would fall asleep in the car and I would try my best to get him out of the car and into the store without waking him. I would give dirty looks to those around me who talked to loud, making his little eyes peek open. Couldn't they see how desperate I was?? With my little baby, and my unwashed hair, and mismatched outfit. All I wanted was to wander around a store like I had all the time in the world, that is until he woke up.

And he would always manage to wake up right when I was in line to check out. When I had spent half an hour in consumerism bliss, and there was no way I was going to leave without those precious few items. And then he would start to cry, and here I am wedged in between other shoppers with no escape in sight. "Aw, he's hungry." "Oh - he must be tired," they would say. No! He's not hungry, and he's not tired, I would want to retaliate, as if this was a personal attack on me and my mothering skills, when all they were trying to do was make conversation. But that's no help to a Mom who has been cooped up in a house with no one but the dog to talk to.

Next time you are out shopping and you see a Mom struggling with her little one, open the door for her! Let her go in front of you in line! Offer to help her get her groceries in the car. This is a woman who just wants to get through her to-do list for the day without any melt downs - her and her baby. So see if you can help her out just a little. If you are a Mom you should remember what those days were like. And if you're not a Mom, you have one, and she too probably battled the triathlon of dry cleaner, bank, and supermarket in a single day. So for her sake, give a Mom a break. She'll be forever grateful and think to herself, "I hope my baby is as nice as that stranger when they grow up." And isn't that the best compliment you could receive?

Might as well face it... you're addicted to swaddles.

2009-05-11T07:06:00.011-04:00

When Jon Jon was 6 weeks old, the novelty of sleep deprivation was wearing off. He was certainly not sleeping through the night, and we were experiencing the "Witching Hours" - where he was fussy from 6-10pm. At my wits end, I did what any looking-to-be-informed mom would do - I Googled.

At this point we were not swaddling Jon Jon. The receiving blankets just weren't cutting it, and the velcro style swaddles were no match for his wiggling hands. He would pop them out and start scratching and rubbing his face, thus waking him up. But during my internet search about swaddles I came across the Miracle Blanket. I watched the demonstration video on the companies website, and thought that this straight jacket style swaddle just might be on to something. And then it occurred to me, I had seen this strange, bat-winged piece of blue fabric somewhere before. It was in my closet! My sister-in-law Jill had included it in a box of hand-me-downs from her son Jack. When I first saw it, I had no idea what it was! But I quickly ran upstairs and pulled out the wadded up piece of mystery fabric and could hardly wait to try it out on my little guy.

The Miracle Blanket was a miracle for sure! Jon Jon started sleeping better right away. I was in love - with the swaddle that is. Fast forward to this past week. We had been swaddling Jon Jon consistently every night, and occasionally during naps, and the affects on his sleep quality, and ours, were wonderful. But as he has grown, the little bugger has started to bust out of his swaddle. First one foot, then one arm, then all limbs - which basically left him with a wad of fabric wrapped around his belly. Sadly I thought we had reached the end of our swaddle days. So we attempted to put him to sleep without the swaddle, and once more he scratched and rubbed his face awake. In a panic of - how will we all ever sleep again?! - once more I Googled, this time, "sleeping without swaddles", to see how other parents dealt with this challenge.

What I found surprised me. On parenting chat boards people were consistently talking about their babies being addicted to swaddling, and unable to sleep without it. Jon Jon addicted to swaddling?? And here I thought he was trying to break out of his swaddle because he didn't like it anymore, and it was I who was addicted to his swaddle, or rather the side effects of the swaddle - a good nights sleep. People talked of slowly transitioning their baby out of their swaddle, first one arm, then the second. But others talked of just swaddling their babies arms, so that they wouldn't wake themselves with their twitchy hands. Bingo! So last night when he woke up at 1am, I broke out the swaddle once more, and wrapped up those arms nice and tight, but left his legs dangling out the bottom. Jon Jon slept like a rock once more. So maybe he was addicted to this blue, cotton miracle.

But when will our addiction end? Will he ever sleep without his swaddle? I suddenly have visions of swaddling a teenage boy. I know it won't come to that, and at some point he will sleep soundly without the aid of turning into a little burrito. But for now I will continue to swaddle Jon Jon and hopefully it will once again bring back our sleep filled nights.

Mother's Day Eve...

2009-05-09T21:39:00.003-04:00

Tomorrow is my first Mother's Day, and I am so excited. Last year at this time, I had just found out I was pregnant, and though I still received a few Mother's Day cards and gifts, I certainly didn't feel like a mom. I had this little tadpole inside me, or so I was told, but without anything to show for it - not even an ounce of morning sickness - I barely even felt pregnant. But with the calendar being a 12 month cycle and babies taking 9 months to make their entrance, this year I get to celebrate for real.

Someone told me recently that some Mothers take Mother's Day as a day to themselves, to do with what they please. A trip to the spa, or some child-free shopping. But this strikes me as strange. I want to spend the day with my Jon Jon. I want to cuddle him and kiss his little bald head. I want to feed him a bottle and change his diapers. I want to take him for a stroll in the stroller and watch him see trees in bloom for the first time. But you know what I don't want to do? Anything else. No cooking, no cleaning, no laundry or bills. I don't want to be responsible for anything else but loving my son and soaking it all in. I think that's what Mother's Day should be all about.

I recently said to my husband: "I love being a Mom, I think being a Mom is amazing; and I think being a Mom is easy. It's taking care of the rest of your life, while being a Mom that's the hard part." So tomorrow I want to be an easy a day. I want to spend my time staring into those big blueberry blue eyes and thank Jon Jon for making me a Mom.

Happy Mother's Day to all you Mothers out there. Everything else can wait until Monday... for now just enjoy the precious gifts that gave you a reason to celebrate Mother's Day in the first place.

Talking In Your Sleep

2009-05-07T11:00:00.007-04:00

At about 12 weeks old, my precious Jon Jon started sleeping through the night. And I'm not talking about the baby books definition of 5-6 hours. He was sleeping a blissful 10-12 hours a night! I was in heaven. Finally, the bags under my eyes and the fog in my brain started to lift. I was basking in the glow of my "good sleeper".

Last night Jon Jon quickly passed out at his normal sleep time of 6:30, but soon he would be changing the rules. A couple times I could hear (and see) him on the baby monitor crying early in the evening. I went to check on him, and he appeared to be crying in his sleep?! I did not even know this was possible. I left him alone and just as fast as he had started crying, he stopped. Then, during American Idol (grrr), he did it again. And at 10pm he was awake for real and wanting a bottle. Well that was not all - he woke again at 1am talking to himself in his crib for 20 minutes until he finally started to cry and we fed him again. At 3:30 I heard him once more and when I turned in bed to look at the monitor, there was my little angel, completely escaped from his swaddle and playing with the toy attached to the side of his crib. But he was also yelling at it. Kind of funny, if it was at 3 in the afternoon, but not at 3 in the morning. I fed him another bottle and he went back to sleep but only for another 2 hours, and then he was up for good.

Well, this was totally unacceptable! I have gotten used to sleeping again. This just would not do. So when Jon Jon went down for his first nap, instead of taking that much needed nap myself, I went straight to the internet and Googled "baby night waking." Good ol' Baby Center had some ideas. Temperature change? Nope. Change in nighttime routine? Guess again. Developmental milestone? Hmmm - he has been talking and yelling, umm I mean vocalizing, a lot the past few days. Could this be the answer? Could all his daytime chatting have left him wanting more?

So if this is the answer, what can be done about it? Should I "talk" to him nonstop during the day, so that he's all talked out by bedtime? Should I ignore his ooos and ahhs? Well obviously this would be a horrible thing for a Mommy to do! I am supposed to be encouraging his development. In fact all his talking has even led me down the Mom fantasy road of: Will he be saying his first words by six months old? Maybe he'll become a great singer! Or a fabulous public speaker! Maybe he'll travel the world on the lecture circuit and always thanking his Mom for her fabulous mothering and encouraging him from an early age. But I quickly see where all this mom-tasizing could lead, and reel myself in.

What will tonight hold? Will Jon Jon be talking in his sleep once more? Only time will tell. But for the moment I will enjoy the ooos and ahhs, even if they come at 2 in the morning, and spend my extra waking hours thinking of all the great things he may do with his amazing oratory skills... like saying Mamma.

Mommy Makeover

2009-05-05T15:29:00.011-04:00

I knew when I gave birth to my son that life as I knew it would cease to exist. Anyone who is planning a family knows this. I had my fantasies of long walks with a stroller, music & me classes, mommy group play dates, snuggling naps on the couch and inhaling that addictive baby fresh scent. But I also knew there would be sleepless nights, hormonal breakdowns, spit-up... lots and lots of spit-up, and doubt of whether or not I could handle my new life. But no one told me about ponytails and slippers. No one told me that everyday, these two things would make up my new, and necessary, wardrobe. No one told me that I'd be getting a mommy makeover.

I have nice hair. I do; and it's my favorite physical attribute. In my pre-baby days, I'd always enjoyed "doing" my hair - curling irons, hot rollers, braids, twists, buns and more. Nice hair is especially great when you're pregnant. Your hair doesn't get fat. Your hair doesn't get bloated. In fact, I found that the bigger my belly got, the bigger my hairstyles went. In a weird way I was trying to balance out my body. In the way that they tell you to carry a big purse, so your frame seems smaller. So larger and larger I went with the rollers and the hairspray.

And shoes! Oh, the shoes. The more impractical, the more I wanted them. Sky high platforms, sweet kitten heels, and wild wedges - I loved them all. I went a long time without owning a pair of flats - even when ballerina shoes made their big trendy debut. I still wanted to be tall, tall tall... and then I got pregnant. It wasn't just that my feet were bloated and didn't fit my heels. It was more that, where was I going in all these heels? I was no longer perched on a bar stool on a Saturday night sipping martinis. I was going out for sensible early dinners at places like TGIFridays and sipping water with that celebratory slice of lemon. So out I went and bought practical flats and comfy sneakers. And then I did something I had never done before; I bought a pair of slippers. Everyone said, bring your own slippers to the hospital when you give birth. So I followed orders and found a comfy pair of pink slip-ons, which quickly went into my hospital bag, waiting anxiously by the door.

After the birth of my son, things changed in all the ways I expected them to. Up all hours of the night, constantly doing laundry, and changing more diapers than I could count. But my lifeline, my saving grace, were my ponytails and slippers. I couldn't have enough ponytail holders stashed around the house. With showers being a thing of the past, I pulled my hair back into that little elastic so fast each morning my son probably didn't even know I had hair. But he soon found out at 3 months old, when I managed to get in the odd shower and blow-dry my hair properly, and he learned how to pull on it. So back in the ponytails it went. And the slippers, well there have probably been more days than not, that I have spent all day in these fabulous footwear items. Even as I type now, they are lovingly caressing my feet, in the way that only a well worn pair of slippers can.

I do get out of the house more these days, and into more fashionable footwear (mommy appropriate flats, of course). But I live in fear that one day I will leave the house with my slippers still on and be that lady at the supermarket that other moms will look and give that totally-know-what-you're-going-through, sympathetic nod. I know sometime soon I'll be able to let my hair down again, figuratively and literally. But for now, I'm happy to shuffle around the house with my oh so stylish "do" because in my arms is the sweetest little baby you'll ever meet. And he doesn't care a bit as to what kind of fashion statement I'm making.

Like a Virgin

2009-05-04T08:48:00.001-04:00

I am a virgin - to blogging. But today is the BIG day. And with a few quick taps of the keyboard my chastity has been quickly erased - or should I say written. And similar to the real deal, I find myself asking, "What's all the fuss about?" There's been all this talk and build-up. Everyone is "doing" it. As I anticipate hitting the orange "publish post" button on the bottom of my page, I am feeling excitement, curiosity, and apprehension. Am I ready to bear my soul to the world? Of course it remains to be seen if anyone cares to listen. But I am confident that over time and with some perseverance, blogging might become an exciting and rewarding pastime.

My subject matter proves that I am anything but a virgin: my darling, little three and a half month old son, Jon. Yes, I am a Mom. Capital M Mom. A Mom that has some thoughts to go along this whole motherhood movement. Obviously I am aware that motherhood is not a new concept, but the sensationalism of it seems to be. Maybe it's just because I am a mother now, and have cause to notice, that it seems like motherhood is everywhere you look. But with baby bumps gracing the pages of every tabloid, shows like In the Motherhood hitting prime time TV, and celebrities such as Jenny McCarthy and Tori Spelling spilling their mommy beans in best selling books, it's hard to deny the mommy movement.

I am unsure about exactly what I have to say. And I'm OK with that. After all, as a rookie mom, I feel unsure about what I'm doing at many moments of the day. But as they say, isn't that what life is all about? And if I can find the time to type between diaper changes, bottle feedings, and doing my dutiful tummy time, I will share my journey with you.

(pressing orange "publish post" button now. ahhhh)